Fan Appreciation Day

Let's start it off with this picture of 2 hot girls kissing - is there anything better than that? I know I appreciate the beauty of such a passionate image. I'm a fan!

Got more women than my man John Woo and I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.

This blog surpassed 10,000 hits yesterday, about 9000 of those coming within the past 4 months (in only 8 month existance so far). And I'm averaging about 300 hits a day over the past 2 weeks. No one is more stunned that I, your humble author. I never anticipated anyone to actually read this writing experiement. But here I is, warts n all. Thanks for droppin by. So, I'd like to designate this entry Fan Appreciation Day. Usually, Fan Appreciation Day is scheduled the last weekend of the season so the team's marketing department can give away all the left over promotional junk they've collected throughout the year (hey, a magnet schedule, and a poncho!). But I'm going to try to tackle my two main topics - Sox and sex - better than ever before for your pleasure. So strap on yer sabermetrics cap, and have a box of tissues handy...

First, the Sox. They had an off day today, so I think today is a good time to take a look at some notable stats so far for 2005. These are thru wednesday.
--during the preseason, I mentioned the key stat that correlates to Sox success in 2005 was sPods OBP. Thru the 16 games he's played in, it stands at .348. My opinion is that is needs to be much closer to .400. (Crede leads the regulars at .367).
--Crede also leads the regulars in hits (23) and average (.315).
--Konerko leads the team in both walks (11) and strike outs (20), as well as RBIs (17) , homers (7) and total bases (43).
--the 5 Sox starters have given up 9 homers in 145 IP. But 7 of those have come on the road!

Giving the same attention to the Sox farm teams:
--Anderson's been the offensive story on a crappy Charlotte team. He leads the team in OPB (.390), hits (22), runs (12) doubles (8), walks (7 - tied) and TB (41).
--Brandon McCarthy may be 1-2, but he's struck out 29 batters in 23 IP.
--In Birmingham, its the Josh Fields Show; .392 OBP.
-- Meaux has 19 K in 13 IP. He's also 2-0.
-- Casey Rogowski is hitting .306, but he's struck out 26 times in 72 at bats.
-- At Winston-Salem, Tom Collaro leads the team, and is near the top of the league, in every offensive category. A sampling; .347 BA, 7 homers, 19 RBIs, 48 TB, and 14 runs.
--Chris Amador isn't far behind; .345, 7 homers, 18 RBIs, 46 TB, and 13 runs. And 7 SB (to Collaro's one).
---Dizard has quietly struck out 15 in 9 IP.
--In Kannapolis, pitching is the story. Liotta has struck out 25 in 25 IP, giving up just 5 ER, and no homers.
--Gio Gonzales has fanned 38 in 25 IP, and allowed just 3 ER, none of them homers. Giving up just 11 hits. Opposing batters are hitting just .151 against him.
--Castillo has 8 errors in 19 games - a record pace!

Down on the farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Trust me, you don't want to know.

Birmingham (AA): The Barons were down to Chattanooga 7-5 at home heading into the top of the 9th - still well within striking distance. Until Glen comes in as relief, and promptly gives up 7 earned runs. Fields goes 0 for 4, striking out 4 times. Young homers and drives in 3. BB lose 14-5.

Winston-Salem (A): Lost to Fredrick 8-2.
Collaro Watch; 1 for 3.
Despite the loss, 4 Warthog pitchers combine to strike out 14 Keys. Leading the way - Dizard, who struck out 6 in 3 IP, giving up 1 ER.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Lexington 6-2. Barry drives in 4. Cook goes 2 for 4.

Baseball phrase of the day: pie adj./arch. Easy to beat. As in, "Them Royals is pie."

Rock n roll phrase of the day: pie n. vagina. Usually limited in usage to "cherry pie" or "sweet potato pie."

If you've come this far, then you must be wantin some sex. Ok, I'll indulge. But since I haven't been getting much this week, I'll have to just resort to describing a past encounter.

A while back, the MILF and I got into a fight over what I don't remember. When I called to make up, we apoligized, and she said confessed that sometimes doesn't give me everything I want. "Come over," she ordered. "I'm going to make it up to you."

When I arrived, she was in the dining room, in a tight-fitting, one-piece low cut short black dress. Her dark hair falling onto her shoulders, and a smile plastered from ear-to-ear. As our eyes met, I could not mistake her wanton look. Like magnets, we were drawn to each other, and didn't say a word. I placed my hands on her hips, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and we embraced in a long, passionate kissing session. I kissed her on her neck, then bit her a little as I ran my hands up and down her sides. She cooed and moaned as the intensity increased. "God," she blurted out, and started unbuckling my belt and unzipping my jeans. As she grab a hold of my meat, I lifted her skirt to discover a lack of panties. "Mmmm, you naughty girl," She laughted. "Very nice," I reassured her.

My manhood now fully erect, I lifted her up onto the diningroon table and began playing with her box, first with soft touches, and slowly, playfully, inserting one, then two, then three fingers, in an effort to get her juices flowing. We continued to kiss, and she crammed me into her, filling her up. Warm and wet, I began slowly thrusting as she raised her legs and arched her back. We were now in a perfect position on the table for maximum pleasure, and we both responded. The thrusting and touching and fucking built up speed. She was holding on tight in an effort not be knocked out of balance. We were getting too hot and I knew if I didn't slow down I was going to come too early. But I kept going for a few more seconds, then slowed down and withdrew altogether. She looked at me almost puzzled, but understood as I slowly sank to my knees. I spread her legs and gave the insides of her thighs a quick touch and kiss, and then began to lick her warm and wet pussy. Just a few long, slow strokes with my tongue, and some sucking of her lips before I pulled away. I was teasing her sweet ass.

I rose up, again she shot me a brief glance of perplexion. I grabbed her hips and in one dominate move, spun her around. I lifted her short skirt the rest of the way up to expose her tight white ass. I let my fingertips roll lightly over her warm flesh, as my fingers slid down to locate her wet hole.

With some manuevering, I slid myself back inside her and starting fucking. Thrusting back and forth for about a minute, the momenteum had moved her higher up onto the table so she was now lying on her stomach, legs spread, knees bent and feet straight up in the air. I went at it a bit more before I pulled out once again and flipped her over, entering her immediately in a missionary style as she lay where dinner had been eaten the night before. I grabbed her legs as she raised them up and thrusted for about a minute more before I exploded deep inside her and we collaspsed into each other. She held me close as I continued to throb inside, warmed by the moist feeling of our comingled juices. As I pulled my head up away from her neck, I could see her smile of satisfaction. We looked deep into each other's eyes, and kissed.
A happy ending...

Crazy Cali

Sox Update: Sox lose to Oakland 2-1. More bad calls and ejections, etc... Thankfully, the series in the Twilight Zone is over. An off day today before the Tiger comes out to 35th and Shields this weekend.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA):..still suck so bad I'm not going to report on them unless McCarthy is pitching.

Birmingham (AA): Destroyed Tenn 13-2. Blakey goes 4 for 6, hits two homers and drives in 5 runs. Fields was 3 for 6, with a homer and 5 RBIs, Owens and Young also collected 3 hits each.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose to Fredrick 7-4. Collaro Watch: 0 for 4 - how rare is that? Molina was 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Myers was 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs.

Kannapolis (A): lose uneventfully to Lexington.

Baseball phrase of the day: punch-and-judy adj. a batter who hits well-placed, but lightly hit balls for singles; one who chkes up on the bat and "punches" at the ball, rather than take a full swing.

Beane Ball

spread your lover in the straw

I was so happy to have my iPod back, that I've been all over the musical spectrum in the past 36 hours. More below....

Since I lead a busy and complex life, I really enjoy these late night west coast games. When the games are on early, like at 6 or 7, I tend to be doing other things and often miss them. But at 9, my day is pretty much winding down and I can just relax with a cold beer in a peaceful environment.That said:

Sox Update: What an ugly game. But Iguchi and Rowand each get three hits. Sox make 4 errors. We'll just have to wait for the injury report.

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): back to their old ways...

Birmingham (AA): lose in an uneventful, rain-shortened game.

Winston-Salem (A): Amador is the story; 2 for 4 with 2 solo homers.
Collaro Watch: 1 for 4, but that one is a 3-run homer. Daigle goes 3 for 3, and Hinton goes 2 for 4. Flores strikes out 7 in 6 IP, giving up 2 ER.

Kannapolis (A): lose 9-3 in 11. Smith goes 3 for 4. A good start by Liotta is wasted. He pitched 7 innings, struck out 8, and gave up just 1 ER.

Baseball phrase of the day: get the thumb v. to be ejected from the game.

Today's music selection: Like I said, all over the board. Lots of bossa nova, some Husker Du, some 'Mats. I've never been a big Stevie Nicks fan, but there is something beauitifully spiritual about her music. Maybe its her angelic voice. I dunno. Let's see, what else? Outkast, the Toasters, Elvis Costello... But the one listen that's really stood out for me recently is Chris Whitey's Living With The Law. In its own way, its a very sexual and sensual album, which you wouldn't expect from slide-guitar heavy Belgian folk rock. But Whitley paints some lush musical landscapes, suggesting open spaces, open minds, open legs. The lyrics have some nice imagery as well - "Spread your lover in the straw" Indeed.

Olde Tyme Movie Review: Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle (2004). Some may think this doesn't qualify as an "olde tyme" film, but its basically just a new age "Cheech & Chong", updated for the 21st Century. It was pretty funny, and there were some 'laugh out loud' parts. Recommended.

Softball season starts in less than 3 weeks. I can't wait. I'm ready.

I'm not far enough into Dickens' American Notes to provide much of a commentary at this point. But since the Sox are in Oakland, I'll leave you with the following prose from the great Jack London:

"I look forward to a time when man shall progress upon something worthier than his stomach, when there will be a finer incentive to impel men to action than the incentive of to-day, which is the incentive of the stomach. I retain my belief in the nobility and excellence of the human. I believe that spiritual sweetness and unselfishness will conquer the gross gluttony of to-day. And last of all, my faith is in the working class. "

Well said, Jack.

Brewmaster help

mmmmmmmmm

Is there a brewmaster out there who could please tell me what exactly it is about the "krausening" process that give me such nasty gas. Everytime I drink Old Style, its like an atom bomb goes off in my intestine.

The hits don't stop

AP/Ben Margot

Sox Update: Where to begin. A 6-0 win at Oaktown. Ozuna is 2 for 3 with 2 SB in the leadoff role. Widger went 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 RBIs. Garland goes the distance in another masterful outing- he's now 4-0. More tonight.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): the cellar-dwelling Knights win their 2nd in a row, beating Richmond 5-3. Spidale goes 3 for 4. Adkins gets the win, striking out 5 and giving up 3 ER in 5 1/3rd IP.

Birmingham (AA): lost 4-1 at Tenn. Owens and Stewart collect 2 hits each.

Winston-Salem (A): had an off day. Look for a Q&A with Tom Collaro to be posted here later this week.

Kannapolis (A): had the day off.

Baseball phrase of the day: throw darts v. to pitch with great control.

Sorry I haven't posted any good sex stories lately. I promise I will soon, so stay tuned.

Southside Pride

Sox Update: Pinch hitting, Pablo Ozuna knocks in the winning run as the Sox beat the Royals 4-3 and complete the sweep in KC. El Duque's line doesn't look half bad - 5 IP and 6 Ks. But 6 walks combined with 4 Sox error keep it close.

The Sox are still the hottest team in baseball and no one wants to rain on that parade. One thing to keep in mind, this early in the year, there has been some luck involved - the Sox are now 9-1 in one run games. On to Oakland!

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Despite my promise yestreday to stop reporting on the pitiful Knights, I don't have much of a choice today. Thankfully, Brandon McCarthy comes to the rescue and stops the bleeding as the Knights beat Richmond, 7-2. His line looks fine - 8 Ks in 6 IP and just one earned run - a solo homer. The one knock on BM - a fielding error. The Knights also came alive on offense for once; Anderson goes 3 for 4, scores 3 runs, collects 3 RBIs, and comes up a single short of the cycle. Burke homered and drove in 2. Spidale was 2 for 4.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Montgomery 5-2. A big day for Rogo- 3 for 5 with 3 runs scored and an RBI, though he also committed a throwing error. Owens was 3 for 4. Meanux continues to pitch well thus far this season; in 3 and 1/3rd he stuck out 6, though he did give up a homer and 2 ER.

Winston-Salem (A): Beats Potomac again 7-3.
Collaro Watch: 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Schnurstein continues to be hot as well, going 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Amador was 2 for 4 with 3 RBIs, including a homer. Haigwood has a fine outing - 5 and 2/3rd IP, 7 Ks, no ER.

Kannapolis (A): Lose 3-1 to Hickory. Kelly goes 2 for 3 with 2 doubles. De Los Santos also had two hits. Hansen drops to 0-4, but his line doesn't look terrible; 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 Ks, 4 walks, he just didn't get the run support today - 11 LOB (and 3 Intimidator errors, too).

Baseball phrase of the day: mustard 1. n. velocity. 2. n. a fast ball.

Pod Pleasure Part 2

you light up the night

I went without my iPod all week. Nothing wrong with it, I just kept forgetting to charge the battery. I thought the week off would do me some good, and stop the ringing in my ears, but the noise, or lack of it, is still there. Acutally, the only thing that makes it go away is Miles Davis. I know this because I listened to Kind Of Blue in the car while running errands yesterday.

Speaking of music, I caught a few minutes of a show on public access last night called Community Essentials, that featured a profile of an up-and-coming hip hop artist called 10 da Childish, who played a haunting mash-up of a cover of "One Is the Loneliest Number". Had he used the original version, as opposed to this female cover, I don't think it would've had the same chilling affect. But the beat was as sweet as anything Dr. Dre lays down, and the lyrics were tight. Now, I'm not a huge hip-hop guy. Sure, I dig De La Soul, Public Enemy, the Beastie Boys, some NWA, Cypress Hill - you know, the classics - and a few others. That Outkast record was the best mainstream thing I've heard in a few years - I loved it. But I'm pretty much a square old white dude. I don't pretend to be a hip hip hopper. And I do not get what the attraction to Enimen is. But back to 10 da Childish, his one tune I heard was some really good stuff. I can't find any info about the guy online, so if anyone knows anything, please feel free to post it.

All Tied Up!

now that's something to look at

... and no time to write.

Sox Update: The Sox win one they shouldn't have, beating the Royals 3-2 in 10. Marte's play at the plate looked too close to call, he gets a deserving win. Uribe gets 3 hits and Crede has now hit safely in 14 straight games. So far this year Contreras has pitched pretty much the same as he did last year - he's inconsistent, but hasn't let one get away. The difference is, with Garland pitching as well as he is, Jose is now the #5 starter. And like him or not, Loaiza is now pitching for Tabasco in the Class D Mexican League.

AJ got what sounded like a fairly painful toe injury in the 2nd, but played thru the pain. Whatever bad rap this guy got in SF was horseshit. So far, it sounds like he's getting along with everyone just fine. Plus he calls a good game, and he's actually been hitting. Too bad for the Giants, good for the Sox.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA):.. is so awful at this point, I'm going to stop reporting on them.

Birmingham (AA): Lose 10-8. Fields goes 4 for 5 with 2 doubles and 3 RBIs. Honel gives up 9 ER in 5 IP, including 3 homers.

Winston-Salem (A): The Hog defeats Potomac 6-2. Collaro Watch: 3 for 4, a homer and 3 RBIs. I tell ya, this guy is just a hitting machine! Does he ever stop? Haeger gets the win in a notable effort.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Hickory 3-1. Gonzales strikes out 10 in 6 IP. Take a look at the Cheat's Blog (link at right) for a more in-depth analysis of Mr. Gonzales. Apparently, he's dominating the South Atlantic League.

Baseball phrase of the day: muckle n/arch. muscle, power.

Things did not go as planned last night with the MILF, despite pumping her full of Corona. Sometimes we got game, other times, not. Maybe more tonight... So stay tuned.

KC Exotica Part 1: Totally hot!

hot

I don't know what that title means, I just use it as an excuse to post a pic of some super hot babes.

Sox update: I don't have to tell you, the Sox are the hottest team in baseball right now. An 8-2 spanking of the Royals in KC on friday night was a good example of the type of baseball many of us anticipated the southsiders to play this year. Again, it was a team effort - a balanced approached that featured solid, fundamental hitting, stellar pitching, and good defense. The bottom of the order - Uribe and Crede, get 3 hits each. But it was sPod who stole this game - literally, with 3 stolen bases (on top of 2 hits). He also made a great catch out in left field. AJ continues to hold his own at the plate, with a 2 for 5 performance that included 2 runs scored. Garcia was solid, giving up 2 ER in 7 IP, striking out 3.

One other thing, the Sox are off to their best start in team history. That's saying a lot for a team that has been around for 100+ years.

My cousin, a native southsider who has lived in SF for more than a decade just called me as I'm writing this to congratulate me: he claims I am the ONLY person to have picked the Sox to play this well. I don't know if that's true, I think some other Sox fans and bloggers probably did the same, but certainly no one in the mainstream media did. ESPN? Sports Illustrated? TSN? Experts? Blaw haw haw! Don't make me laugh so hard I shit myself! But, I'm the only person I know who picked the Sox to win it all... I'm not confident that I'll ever see a Chicago baseball team play in the World Series in my lifetime, but I am optimistic, and there is never any glory in picking the favorite. So let's go Sox! Make my wild prediction look like genius!

Minor League Update:

Charlotte (AAA): another loss at the hand of the Mudhen, 7-2. Phillips gives up 5 ER in 4 IP. No offense to speak of...

Birmingham (AA): An 8-6 win over Montgomery. Gonzales and Fields, who also had a stolen base an an error, each get 3 hits. Owens, Young and Blakely, who also homered and had a stolen base, collect 2 hits apiece. Malone strikes out 3 in 1 and 2/3rd of relief. Lubisich gets his 3rd win, despite giving up 4 ER in 5 IP.

Winston-Salem (A): beats Potomoc 86. Collaro Watch; 2 for 4. Valido and Schnurstein also had 2 hits apiece, and both of them also homered. Valido had a stolen base and Schnurstein drove in 3. Bakker starts and gives up 6 ER including 3 homers in 5 IP.

Kannapolis (A): Lose 2-1 to Hickory. Harrell walks 5 in 3 and 2/3rds IP. Three Intimidator errors lead to the loss.

Baseball phrase of the day: dime hit n. a scratch hit

Happy (Belated) Earth Day! Commuting on the train yesterday, I read in the Wall Street Journal that the House passed a bill that includes some major energy provisions, all negative from an environmental standpoint. Whether or not you're in favor of drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) is not the point (For the record, I'm against it for a wide variety of reasons I won't go into here). Here's the point - and seriously, sit down get ready for this whopper: the bill features a provision that waives $2 billion dollars in drilling right royalities oil companies would have to pay the US gov. Talk about a sweet deal for the already filthy-rich oil companies - they get to extract the oil off our land FOR FREE! So guess who gets to make up that $2 billion shortfall? That's right, you and I, Joe and Jane Sixpack, the taxpayer, struggling to make ends meet. Bastards all.

But here is something that might make you smile. A website that combines two of my favorite subjects - the environment and porn. Its call "Fuck for forest" and IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK VIEWING:
http://www.fuckforforest.com/side-meny.html

I'm going to update my links section at the right. A few I probably won't post, but have stumbled across in the past few weeks and found interesting are:

Blog by a guy who has good enough taste to hate John Mayer, and love Kristen Bell. He's working on his "game", among other things. Read about it here:
http://www.thegreyhavens.net/

Batgirl. I hesitate to post this Twins-obsessed blog, for fear of staring a mud-slingin war (she calls the Southside guys the "Bitch Sox"). But Sox fans deserve to know. She's been getting a lot of undeserved press lately, and near as I can tell, there is nothing unique about her blog, other than she's a girl who writes about baseball. But its mostsly fiction, and bad, rambling fiction in a 3rd peron narrative that is, as I said before, totally unreadable. She comes off sounding like The Onion's Jean Teasdale. Never thought I'd say this, but Batgirl's writing style is so atrocious, that it makes Wonkette look like Jane Austin. The disaster in progress can be read here:
http://www.bat-girl.com/

A grrrl from Cleveland who sounds really cute and fun:
http://andifeelfine.blogspot.com/

Cool music:
http://www.mangosandmandolins.blogspot.com/

Author Rachel Kramer Bussel's blog. I orginally had this link posted months ago, but took it down when she apparently had some personal issues and her blog turned into an over-analyized pity-fest. Looks like the meds are working and she's back up to full speed (WARNING: Not safe for work viewing!):
http://www.lustylady.blogspot.com/

I finally finished up Moneyball. It was exremely well done, and I give Beane a ton of credit for making something out of nothing. His approach is revolutionary. It may not be the best way to run a team, look at what the Twins and Sox do with similiar payrolls, but it gives us a lot to think about; namely, ball palyers make more money than the market can now bear, and no matter how much Steinbrenner objects to it, the only thing that will save baseball is a form of revenue-sharing similiar to what the NFL and NBA use.

Now its onto Dickens' American Notes, before heading back to Angela's Ashes. Too much to read...

I saw Hotel Rwanda last night. It was a good film, and it really puts a lot of things in perspective. Even though I'm a ragin liberal, it makes me hate the UN and their inaction. Now its happening all over again, in Darfur... Hug your kids.

Saturday night, so the MILF will temporarily abandon her family to get what she needs from me. And I'm going to give it to her, deep, hard, hot, wet and right bewteen the legs. If all goes as planned, I'll provide the juicy details tomorrow.

Sorry about the rambling nature of today's entry. I guess it comes off more like a Jackie Harvey article from The Onion than anything I've done in the past. I'll try to stick to my usual "quick hitters" going forward, but every once in a while, I need to stretch out...

Bridgeport; community of the future

Bridgeport, the community of the future

Lumpen Media co-founder, and unofficial Mayor of Wicker Park, "Edmar" revs up the Version05 Festival beginning this weekend. Staring yesterday, and running for 10 days, the fest brings cutting edge (read; future trendy) art, music and politics - much of it for free- to locations all over the city. One of the host venues this year is the Zhou B. Center, a new gallery space at 35th and Morgan (http://www.zbcenter.org), right in the heart of Edmar's home stomping grounds of Bridgeport. In this week's issue of Time Out Chicago, Edmar says, "I've always thought Bridgeport was the community of the future - if the future was the apocalypse." Korean Polish BBQ will be had by all.

For more info, including a complete schedule of events, click here:
http://versionfest.com/version05/festival/

Red hot

shake that thang

CORRECTION: After the Sox win thursday afternoon in Detroit, I inferred that team members might potentially wind up celebrating their victory at a strip club in nearby Windsor, Ontario - a locale notorious for such establishments. The truth is, the Sox flew out of town on thrusday evening to Kansas City, and went to strip clubs there.

A day win in Detroit means

...the strippers in Windsor are in trouble tonight. Sox Update: Sox win 4-3. Just about everyone contributes in the balanced game, so I'm not going to name names.

Minor Legue Update:

Turns out Thirsty Thursday is a staple at all the stadiums for all Sox minor league affilates. Man, Sox fans at Comiskey Park get jipped!

Mad wins

Sox Update: a big 9-1 win at Detroit. Dye and Crede each homered. Pods gets 3 hits and 2 SB. Rowand strikes out 3 times. Number 5 starter Jon Garland is now 3-0. And its April 21st. The Sox own the best record in the AL - 11-4.

Minor League Update:

Charlotte (AA): Knights lose to Toledo again, 1-0. Anderson and Bikowski had 2 hits each. Adkins striks out 8 in 6 IP, giving up just one 1 run. So, its offense they need!

Birmingham (AA): beat Jax 5-4. Blakely is 2 for 2. Tracy's line looks nearly identical to Adkins - 6 IP, 7 Ks, 1 ER.

Winston-Salem (A): The Collaro show continues - 2 for 4 with 2 home runs and 4 RBIs. Hogs still find a way to lose it, 7-6. Another note on Collaro, he's at the top of most every offensive category in the Carolina League. I wonder how long it will be until they move him to Birmingham.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Greensboro 5-4. De Los Santos collects 3 hits. Egbert gives up 3 ER in 3 IP, but strikes out 5.

For the sake of art

artsy fartsy

Isn't that always the excuse?

Check out my NEW photo blog. Just goofin off stuff for now, maybe more fun stuff later on... if you play nice.

http://downersgrovephotoblog.blogspot.com/

The Kings Are Here!

well, almost...

As a reminder - As a part of the International Pop Overthrow, on Sunday April 24, the Kings are playing at the Beat Kitchen, along with 7 other bands, for just $8. Do NOT miss this show!

From a tuesday point of view

laid

Like a kettle in the kitchen, I feel the steam begin to brew...

Sox Update: El Duque looks alternately unhittable and awful from inning to inning. He looked so good early on, then strated throwing up melons in the 6th and loaded the bases. I credit him with working out of that jam. Iguchi again goes 2 for 4, but gets caught stealing...again. Konerko goes 2 for 4 with a homer. AJ and Crede get 2 hits apeice. Everett strikes out 3 times in 4 AB.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): McCarthy gives up 5 ER in 5 1/3rd IP en route to his 2nd straight loss, and the Knights lose 6-4 to Toledo. He struck out 6. Toca goes 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 RBIs. Anderson also went 2 for 4, but struck out twice. Lopez was 2 for 3.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Jax 4-1. Fields homers. Blakely strikes out 3 times in 4 ABs. Lamura strikes out 4 in 3 IP of relief work.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Myrtle Beach 8-5. Collaro continues to be hot -- 2 for 5, a homer and 3 RBIs. Schnurstein gets 3 hits, including a homer. Valido got 2 hits and 2 RBIs. Molina and Myers also got 2 hits each.

Kannapolis (A): lose to Greensboro 2-1. Hansen strikes out 6 in 6 IP, giving up no earned runs, but his throwing error in the 4th costs the Intimidators the game.

Baseball phrase of the day: eephus n. a high-arching pitch that reaches an apex of approximately 25 feet above the ground between the mound and the plate. I heard the Hawk and DJ calling pitch from El Duque an "eephus" during last night's game. But his pitches don't reach that 25 foot height. Not even close. So techinically, El Duque isn't really throwing an eephus, just a high, strange, off speed pitch.

Had lunch with my pal from the Twins yesterday. Its too early in the season for much inside stuff. Suffice to say the Twins are confident in their ability to win another AL Central title. I'm not so sure. We discussed Moneyball a bit. Despite the Twins low pay roll, they don't play the game of Bill Jamesians and Billy Beane. The Twins play good fundamental ball. According to my pal, the reason the A's needs guys on base is because they require someone to hit a homer and drive in runs since they don't play good, solid fundamental baseball. I guess my recipe for success falls somewhere in-between the Moneyball way and the traditional way. But what do I know...

I had a comment to this blog two days ago that I seem to "fuck a lot." I dunno. What is "a lot"? I'd like to fuck twice a day, but its not always up to me. I guess I average about 50 times a year. That sounds like a lot, but you draw it out over 12 months, and its less than once a week. For me, its more about quality than quanitity. I have a mind-blowing session about every 6 weeks or so (at least lately), and more "service oriented" sex less frequently. And I don't post it here every time I shoot my load. For instance, I got laid last night, but just don't feel like discussing it, even though I have a big smile on my face as I go to work this morning.

As a reminder - As a part of the International Pop Overthrow, on Sunday April 24, the Kings are playing at the Beat Kitchen, along with 7 other bands, for just $8. Do NOT miss this show!

From Section 161

Sorry I wasn't able to post this earlier, I was running late and a bit hungover all day. A tall Coke and greazy eggamcmuffin with hash browns cured that fast.

Monday night was first trip to Comiskey this season. Actually, my first trip was monday afternoon, when I was the lone white guy taking the red line down to Armour Square on my lunch hour to buy bleacher tickets. I feared a game time, walk up sellout for the lower deck, and refuse to pay a $4 "convenience charge" to buy them online. Sox fans were out in force due to 1) half price night 2) the fine weather 3) the Twins. Security calls it "Half Price Fight Night" and I saw at least 4 fistacuffs in the stands.

I did some pregame drinking at Cal's Liquors. Its been a while since I've been in there, and I noticed they've redone the ceiling. That's good, since the last time I was there little chuncks of ceiling tiles were falling down into my beer.

Onto the game at 7 and it was a madhouse trying to get in. I had to walk from the red line stop all the way around to gate 3. Not sure if I just missed the secret entrance to the bleachers or what. Lines were long, since they only had 3 turnstiles open. Finally got in and got a beer in the middle of the 1st inning.We sat in the last row of sec 161, which was convenient when I had to get up for a beer or hit the can.

The park looks great. I can tell the difference since my last visit back in September. I feared the Fundamentals area would be an obstacle and an eyesore, like the one at the new park in San Fran. But it blends seamlessly, and is raised so high above the walkway, you hardly notice it. Nice job.

One conclusion I've drawn from last night's experience is that if I want to really watch the game, I've got to stop going to games. Whenever I go, I don't actually watch the game, like I do when its on TV. I can't see how the ball moves, etc... So I'd like to offer up some commentary, but can't really. What I can confirm is that there were a lot of gurls from the neighborhood in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and conditions last night. A lot of hotties. Tons.

The bathrooms had long lines out the door most of the night. I saw folks peeing in garbage cans, just like in Old Comiskey!

After the 7th inning, my pals dragged me down to The Bullpen bar. I didn't want to go. All that cinder block and chain link makes me feel like I"m in a jail. And, like a prison, there is a notable absence of females. Men outnumbered women about12 to 1. The place should should change its name to the Sausage Factory.

Left the bar about 20 minutes after the game ended and the crowd jammed along 35th street to get back on the northbound red line was crazy. So, we walked two blocks east to the green line, which was empty. Idiots.

Got home at 1 am. Sadly, alone.

Sox won 5-4. I guess. Everett had two homers and 3 RBIs. Crede also homered. Iguchi is now offically out of his slump, going 2 for 4. The pen saves Contreras.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): ...lose 8-1 at Columbus. Burke gets 2 hits. Stewart give up 7 ER in 4 2/3rds, but strikes out 5. McCarthy on the hill tonight at Toledo.

Birmingham (AA): ...beat Jax 3-2. Honel gets the win - 3 Ks, 1 ER in 5 IP.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Myrtle Beach 4-1. Valido gets 3 hits. Collaro goes 2 for 4 with a double and a run scored, he even gunned down a runner at the plate! Haeger improves to 2-0 by striking out 7 in 6 innings, giving up just one earned run. Amador had two errors.

Kannapolis (A):..lost to Greensboro 3-0. The offense fails to support a good outing from Gonzales, who strikes out 9, and gives up just 2 ER in 5 IP.

Baseball phrase of the day:far corner n/arch. thrid base.

Speedy recovery wishes to legendary, annoying and chronically unemployed Cub fan Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers, who was hit by a car at the corner of Clark and Addison. Police confirm the car was NOT driven by Andy the Clown.

The only thing those stupid Red papers are good for is gossip. And I was crushed to hear that the new love of my life, One Tree Hill sex machine Sophia Bush, was married over the weekend to one of her co-stars in Santa Barbara. I'll give it a year before she's "married but looking."

Lunch with my buddy from the Twins today. I'll come back with some inside stuff.

Don't Be Sad

..cause two out of three ain't bad. Again. But at some point, the Sox are going to have to sweep a series.

Sox Update: a 5-4 loss at the hand of the Mariner. Garica gives up 5 ER in 7 IP. Mr. Swing At Everything actually went 3 for 3, which is especially good for me since I have him in my fantasy league. He also layed down a sweet sac bunt in the first. Everett homered. Props to AJ for a great throw that nailed Reed trying to steal second. Politte struck out 4 in 2 IP.

As I write this, I'm making a batch of beer nuts, which can only mean one thing; I'm heading out to the ball yard tomorrow evening for the first time this season. Look for me in the left field bleachers. Contreas and Lohse scheduled. Should be good.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): lose again, 8-7 in 12 innings at Columbus. Spidale homered and drove in 3. Martinez had 3 hits. Philips gives up 6 ER in 2 and 2/3rd IP. Smith struck out 3 in 1 and 2/3rds of work.

Birmingham (AA): The Baron beats Montgomery 4-2. Rogo goes 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Young homers, doubles and scores twice.

Winston-Salem (A): ...lose 15-8 to Lynchburg. Hinton gets 3 hits, Collaro goes 2 for 4. Valido homers and doubles. The pitching line looks so awful I'm not going to rehash it here.

Kannapolis (A): A big win over Ashville, 17-6. Hansen and Castillo each get 4 hits, King goes 3 for 5, hits 2 homers and drives in 5. The pen is forced to mop up a bad start from Harrell, who gives up 4 ER in 4 IP, including 3 homers.

About the only portion of ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball that I saw was knockout Sam Ryan's 7th inning stretch bit. After segments the previous two weeks on Fat Joe and the morbidly obese guitarist from Bowling For Soup, I was anxious to see if the streak of heavy guest profiles would continue. Sadly, it did not, as local Hotlanta popsters Collective Soul, who all appear to be height and weight proportionate, provided some reflections on the Braves. Blah.

Baseball pharse of the day: Nats n. nickname for the Washington Senators, especially during the years 1939-57 when they were known as the Nationals.

1:39

Last night

Sox Update: 1 hour and 39 minutes? Are you kidding me? Buehrle goes the full 9 in a great 3-hit , 12 K effort (all 3 hits coming from Suzuki). Konerko hits 2 solo homers. Iguchi only strikes out once in 3 AB. Sox go for the sweep today.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): A 10-5 loss at Columbus but Anderson, Casanova and Bikowski get 2 hits each. Burke stuck out in all 3 at bats. Villacis gives up 7 ER in 5 IP.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Montgomery 8-1. Owens and Gray each get 2 hits, Gonzales draws 3 walks, Stewert homers and drives in 3. Rogo is 1 for 1 with a double and 2 runs scored. Meaux gets the win and strikes out 7 in just 3 and 1/3rd. Glen stuck out 5 in 2 IP.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Lynchburg 8-4. Collaro goes 2 for 5, collecting 2 RBIs with a homer and a stolen base. Amador was 3 for 4, with 3 RBIs and a homer, Hinton was 2 for 4 with 2 doubles, Schinurstein and Myers each walked twice . Rodriguez gets the win, giving up 2 ER in 5 IP, striking out 6. Ovalles struck out 4 in 2 and 13/rd IP.

Kannapolis (A): Lost to Ashville 3-1. De Los Santos goes 3 for 4. Kelly struck out 3 times.

After being severly hit on by two teenage baristas at Starbucks (who apparently have watched a little too much of Desperate Housewives), the MILF dropped by all hopped up on Red Bull and chantico, which made for a fun session. I was in need so we practically ripped our clothes off. She was nice and ready to receive me, though in my rush I applied quite a bit of lube, which may also have helped me to slid into her so easily. One thing that made this time a little different is that we talked while we fucked. Normally, we go at it in near silence, with only the occassional moan or utterance of dirty talk. But tonight was different. I got lost in her long dark hair, and we did side-to-side for a while, and pretty soon, I had reached my boiling point. Unable to hold out any longer, I exploded deep inside her. Nice afterglow too - a very satisfying and fulfilling session. I have to pick up, like, an entire case of Red Bull.

Baseball phrase of the day: barbering n. chatting, as one is likely to do in a barber's chair.

On Iguchi's mind?

Could this be what Iguchi is thinking about while he's at the plate?

And maybe Takatsu, as well, at least last night?

I know its whats inside my head.

Finally Friday

Sox Update: try as they may to lose it, Hermanson comes on to close out a 6-4 win over the Mariner. Garland pitches 6 1/3rd of perfect ball. Mr Swing at Everything (uh, Iguchi) stuck out three times in 4 at bats. Rowand not only hit well, but looked slick on the basepaths. Dye and Uribe turned sweet swings into homers. The depth of pen showed tonight. Vizcaino looked pretty good, but Marte and Takatsu looked awful. Marte threw hard, but had no control - the same problem that palgued him all spring. Mr. Zero just couldn't find the plate. Hermanson again proved that he's been the most valuable pitcher on the team thus far.

More of the same this afternoon at 35th and Shields. Plenty of good seats still available.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): Lose 6-2 at Columbus. Adkins is rocked for 6 ER in 4 IP.

Birmingham (AA): The Barons with a big 8-7 win! Fields, Sweeney and Stewart get 2 hits each. Rogo had a double and an error. Tracey picks up the win with 6 and 1/3rd of scoreless pitching.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Lynchburg 4-2. Valido is 4 for 4, Collaro collects a hit.

Kannapolis (A): defeated Ashville 1-0. Liotta gets the win, striking out 9 in 7 IP.

Baseball phrase of the day: baste v/arch. to hit the ball hard.

Caught some of VH1's Driven last night. Lindsay Lohan is hot, but her mom is way hotter. What can I say - I have a thing for the married ones...

Its too early in the year to talk football, but the Bears released their 2005 schedule. Nothing particularily interesting about it. They get the AFC Central this year, but the games against Cleveland and Pittsburgh are on the road. Thanks the their 5-11 record, the product of the league's worst offense, they get to play both SF and the Skins! If Grossman is healthy, they should content for a wild card spot. Maybe.

As a part of the International Pop Overthrow, on Sunday April 24, the Kings are playing at the Beat Kitchen, along with 7 other bands, for just $8. For those of you who know about these Canadian power popsters, I'll see you there. For those that don't, "Beat Goes On Switchin to Glide" may be amongst the greatest songs ever. And there were other great moments from the 1980 album The Kings Are Here, notably "Anit-HeroMan" and "Partyitis". If you've never heard that album, I beg you, please listen. And this may be one of your last chances to see the (mostly) original line up. Do NOT miss this show!

"Hey ladies? You crazy! Well, Me and Zero request you in the Mercedes!"
Aw, yeah it don't get no better than that!!!!

Mr. Postman

Check out the April 14 entry over at the The Blast Furnace (http://www.theblastfurnace.net/) - its a hilarious fictional letter from Carl Everett that had me laughing out loud. Every Sox fan should read this.

Hey, Tony, I'm going to steal this idea, OK?

Yesterday evening as I was driving around my burg picking up pizza and beer, I listened to Jimmy Piersall on The Score with Mike Murphy. Piersall is great, especially as he gets older (when I get old, I want to be really bitter, just like him). Just a few hours before the "incident" at Fenway last night, a caller told of some drunk hole in the Wrigley bleachers ridin Burnitz hard because he wouldn't give him a ball. That led to a discussion on fan interaction with players during the game that became eerie by 10 pm. As everyone agreed, there are some lines that you just don't cross. You can ride the players, but it has to be PG rated. And, in a post-9/11 world, if a "fan" crosses the line onto the field of play, as our "cry for help" poster child William Ligue Jr did, then its open season. And if that "fan" winds up in the hospital or the morgue, then they got what they deserved.

Like the incident at San Siro in Milan earlier this week, I think its time to get tough on fan misbehavior. While everyone in NY and Boston treat minor news like this regarding the Yanks and Red Sox in the same distrubingly complusive way that the Brits bizarrely hunger for all things Royal, I think the time has come for MLB to dish out some penalities. Considering what happened in the wild game of the 2003 ALCS at Fenway, my crazy suggestion is to ban "fans" from the first 8-10 rows of seats in that area with the low wall in right field at Fenway for the remainder of games against the Yankees this season. I think that would send the message that this ain't Italy and hooliganism simply will no longer be tolerated.

Thirsty Thursday

Work is kicking my ass. I have to find a way out this meat grinder. I need more sex, less work. But it was thursday, so I drank a few Old Styles whilst watchin the game.

Sox Update: El Duque gives up 4 ER in 5 IP, and the Sox get off to a bad start, losing to the Tribe 8-6. Everett had an incident with the wall that I didn't see. The injury may not be too serious, but we can only hope. Cotts also gave up 2 ER in 2 IP. The Sox were rallying in the 8th, when "Mr. Swing At Everything" (that'd be Iguchi) swung at the first pitch he saw from Rhodes, and popped out, leaving runners stranded at the corners. Konerko homered and drove in 3. Rowand had two hits. Dye looked great up at the plate. Sox hobble home to face the Mariner this weekend. Pods may be on the bench with a pulled groin.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): It was a "Thursty Thursday" down south. But despite the $2 beers, there were no riots. McCarthy gets the loss in game one of a make-up double header, both of which the Knights lost by indentical 4-1 scores. BM gave up 3 ER in 4 n 2/3rds IP and struck out 5. The 2-run homer from Wise was the difference. In Game 2, Stewart gives up 2 ER in 4 IP.

Birmingham (AA); rained out. again.

Winston-Salem (A): ...lost to Myrtle Beach 2-1, but Collaro homers!

Kannapolis (A): ...lost to Ashville 7-5. Hernandez was 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 runs scored.

Baseball phrase of the day: pale hose n. nickname for the Chicago White Sox.

I'm on the Scott Hattesburg chapter in Moneyball. Facinating stuff. Makes me think that, somehow, this would make a great movie.

Today's music selection: Haydn, Symphonies 95-99 as performed by the NY Philharmonic.

How 'bout them White Sox?

Sox Update: Sox beat the Tribe 5-4 in 10 innings. The bullpen deserves the credit for this one. Contreas kept them in the game, barely, then Marte (who struck out all 3 batters he faced), Vizicaino and Hermanson shut down the Indians in relief. The balanced offense manufacteurers 5 runs; Rowand is finally hitting a little, he was 2 for 3 with a double. Ozuna had a nice bunt single and came around to score later in the inning. A lot of folks are already talking about Iguchi's lack of discipline at the plate, and that showed again last night. He's played well so far, but this is a bad sign. Michael Lewis noted the same characteristics about Miguel Tejada in Moneyball, so you never know what could happen.

Sox announced that May 7 is the annual garage sale. So if you're you're looking for a slighly used jock once worn by Jose Valentin, then drop by and start hagglin.

Minor League Update:

Charlotte (AAA): rained out. But I think McCarthy may be on the hill tonight against the Toledo Mudhens. Tonight is also "Thirsty Thursday" at the ball park in Charlotte, where all Miller beers are just $2. A promotion like this at Comiskey would be a welcome event. Certainly it would pack the joint with slutty gurls from da neighborhood (good!) and William Ligue Jr types (bad!).

Birmingham (AA): also rained out.

Winston-Salem (A): surprisingly, not rained out, but beat Myrtle BEach 6-2. Daigle and Lee get 3 hits each. Lee also had a homer and 3 RBIs. 11 LOB. Haeger (5 Ks), Castro (3Ks) and Wasserman (1 K) pitch the Hogs to victory. Collaro o for 4. Ugh. Especially if you have him on your Carolina League Fantasy team.

Kannapolis (A): guess what? rained out.

Baseball phrase of the day: stopper n. a starting pitcher who can be counted on to win a crucial game; a team's top pitcher; one who can stop a losing streak. I heard Mike Murphy talking about the difference between a 'stopper' and a 'closer' on The Score last night and figured a lot of people confuse the term.

Speaking of Mike Murphy, I've added a link at the bottom right to Gil Thorp's daily slice of life at Milford High. Go Mudlarks! See you at The Bucket!

Today's music selection: lots of Rosa Passos, so I must be stressed.

San Siro is burning

San Siro is burning

Anyone catch the action from last night UEFA Champions League quarterfinal match from Italy between AC Milan and Inter Milan? Me either! But I think the story of the fan violence and accompying shocking photos merit some discussion of cultural differences.

As the story goes, with AC Milan destroying host Inter 3-0 in the 73rd minutes, flares, bottles, canoli and anything else the 83,000 fans could get a hold off, regined down on the pitch. Pretty standard Italiano misbehavior - kinda like gross old Italian men grabbing the asses of young ladies on Roma buses - until a flare hits the AC Milan goalie - the man named simply "Dida" - on the shoulder, just missing his head. Refs noted that the local cops made no effort to quel the violence, and therefore they had no choice but to cancel the match.

This is just the latest incident in an major increase in Italian football violence, though violence surrounding the sport seems to be on the rise across the globe everywhere except the UK, the US and Canada. I think its important to note, that while many liberal Europeans will be anxious to critize the US for its global misbehavior (something that, as a very Liberal guy, I usually agree with), I find it VERY hypocrtitical that the local Eurotrash sink to primitive-like cavman violence over a football match - an event that ultimately simply doesn't matter. Whether or not you agree or disagree with the US global war on terror, at least its something that matters - lives are on the line! I just don't get the Italians - they can master subjects like art and engineering, but are so emotional that, at times, are unable to exercies self control and baffled the concept of hot showers.

I hope UEFA bans them for life! It will make all the more sweet when DeMarcus Beasley and the US kick their ass in Germany next summer!

A night without baseball

oh mama that's the stuff

..is like a night without ____?

So I was forced to channel surf. But that didn't last long, because I came across a show called One Tree Hill, and the beauty pictured here, Sophia Bush, was so hot, she melted my tv.

Open discussion

According to both my hit counter and Google's AdSense, I'm getting about 200 hits a day to this blog. I'm stunned - that's a lot more than I ever expected.

So, today, I'd like to hear feedback from you on the content here at Southside Adventures. What do you think? Less Sox? More sex? Do you like the way I write? The pictures? More recipies? Be honest. Your comments will be incorporated. Probably. Maybe. A long season lies ahead, and I want to make sure that each and every one of you are fully and completely satisfied.

And, of course, thanks for taking the time to read. Hopefully, I've created a small, momentary diversion from the hassles of your real life.

Now get back to work!

Start with the feet

Step #1

I've found one near sure-fire way inside a woman is to start with the feet. A long, slow foot massage can put her mind and body in a state of total relaxation and can produce stong feelings of appreciation. Beginning with the feet often means I wind up inside the legs. I found myself in this situation last night. And mastering this technique also keeps them coming back for more.

Sox Update: Sox lose to the Twins before a national audience 5-2. Pierzynski looks a little lost at his homecoming, losing a pop up against the Metrodome ceiling, then, on the very next pitch, allowing that runner to steal 2nd without a throw. Ozuna gets a hit in the lead off spot. Iguchi and Everett each get 2 hits. Buehrle doesn't look particularly overwhelming, and gives up 5 runs in 7 IP, striking out 2. The Sox travel to Cleveland to start the week.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): ..lose 13-3 to Columbus. Borchard homers and Casanova gets 2 hits. Villacis and Winkeleas give up 12 ER.

Birmingham (AA):..beats Jax 6-2. Reyes is 3 of 4 with 2 runs and Rogo gets 2 hits.

Winstom-Salem (A): Lost 5-4 at Kinston. Amador gets three hits including a homer. Lee also had three hits. Daigle hits two doubles. Collaro, sadly, is 0 for 4.

Kannapolis (A): Beats Ashville 8-4. De Los Santos, Kelly and roberts each get two hits. Castillo homers and drives in two.

I see The Cheat's Sox Blog (link at right) is now also providing daily updates of the Sox minor league teams. That's good, as he'll probably catch things I miss, and they'll also be days that I don't post at all. Hopefully, between the two of us, we can infom those who care about such things.

Baseball phrase of the day: bushel basket n. a large glove.

The Bad News Bears Ride Again

Aw crud, Buttermaker!

I just finsihed viewing the trailer for the remake of the Bad News Bears, due out this summer. More on this in a minute.

No posts yesterday. The weather was beauitiful, so I drank. Whaddya expect? I'm a day behind.

Sox Update: Sox won saturday night, 8-5. 8 of 9 Sox get hits. Everett's homer drives in 3. Iguchi hits a double. Konerko and Timo both homer. The Sox turn two double plays. Despite giving up 10 hits and 3 ER in 6 IP, Garland gets the win.

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA): The Knights score 2 runs in bottom of the 9th en route to their first victory of the season, 3-2 over the Columbus Clippers. Brandon McCarthy looked great - 7 IP, 1 ER on 2 hits, and stuck out 10. Brian Becker goes 2 fo 4 with a homer, a triple, and RBI and 2 runs scored. Borchard stuck out 3 times in 4 at bats.

Birmingham (AA): the Barons score 2 in the 9th to beat Jacksonville. Fields and Blakely each get 2 hits. Rogo gets a stolen base.

Winston-Salem (A): Lost 4-2 at Kinston. Tom Collaro gets two hits!

Kannapolis (A): Lose to Ashville, 3-1. Not Liotta's fault- 5 IP, 1 ER and 7 Ks.

ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball is bad enough with Joe Morgan's vain dialogue. But this season, they've got a new feature to kill time and hold onto that all-important 21-36 male demographic during the 7th inning stretch - the stunningly beauitiful Sam Ryan introduces a segement that involves a pop music flavor-of-the-moment talking about why they love baseball. During last sunday's Yankees-Red Sox game, it was none other hefty Bronx native and wanna be gangsta Fat Joe, talkin' Yankeesyoboyknowwhati'mtalkinboutyeah? And if you think Fat Joe is Fat, he's no match for this week's heavy hitter - the morbidly obese guitarist from Bowling For Soup (though props he was sportin' an old school #12 Bad News Bears jersey of my favorite juvinlle delinquent, Tanner Boyle). Wonder who the produces will tip the scales with for next week's Atlanta-Philadelphia game? Meatloaf? John Popper (well, he's not fat anymore)? Frank Black/Black Francis? Aretha Franklin?

So seeing the Bears jersey on the huge guy from Bowling For Soup, reminded me to go out to the web and confirm the rumor that the classic 1976 film starring Walther Mattheu, Tatum O'Neal, Vic Morrow and Jackie Earl Haley, was really going to be remade starring Billy Bob Thornton. It seemed like a rumor too terrible to be true. I know that Hollywood is out of new ideas (thus, The Flintstones and Miss Congeniality 2) but how could someone remake such a classic? Why not remake Animal House with Jimmie Kimmell in John Belushi's role as Bluto? And Jimmy Fallon taking Tim Matheson's place? Or remake It's A Wonderful Life, change the script and insert Jar Jar Binks in the role of Clarence the guardian angel? "Eh a misdter George Bailey, why you wanna keeel youself?" Why? Because its a terrbile idea to remake a classic. Apparently, this news never made it to the studio that put up millions for the Bears remake. If the trailer is any indication, the Bad News Bears remake is really gonna suck donkey balls. It appears that the dialogue has changed completely, along with the Bears unis and their sponsor (no longer "Chico's Bail Bonds"). In this hyper-sensitive 21st Century, its no wonder that most of Tanner Boyle dialogue had to be eliminated. But that's what made the film so great, these bitter, jaded totally crude kids and their horribly inappropriate comments. Lines from Boyle's character when Amanda joins the team like, and I'm paraphrasing here (and please forgive me): "A Jew, a ni---r, two spics, and now a girl?" Horribly offensive, yet classic.

Baseball phrase of the day: bender v/arch. a curveball

Testing one, two, three

This thing on, or still broke?

This is a test, this is only a test.

Sox Update: The pitching rocks and spoils the Twins opener, Sox win 5-1. El Duque pitches 7 stong innings, strikes out 5. Hermanson mops up. Konerko and Rowand homer. Everett gets 3 hits and drives in 2. Pods steals 2 bases in 3 attempts. Now that's BALANCE!

Minor League Update:
Charlotte (AAA) - loses the home opener to Columbus, 7-2. Burke, Toca and Davis each get two hits. Anderson homers. The pen blew this one, and the line is so ugly, I don't even want to discuss it.

Birmingham (AA) - loses 10-5 to Jacksonville. Gonzalez gets 3 hits. Rogo goes 1 for 4. Again, the pitching...

Winston-Salem (A) - loses to Kinston 5-1. Daigle gets 2 hits. No other notable performances.

Kannapolis (A) - guess what? Loses to Ashville, 5-0. Moat strikes out 5 while giving up one run.

Where's Tom Collaro been assigned? I though after last year, he'd start at High A, maybe even AA.

Baseball phrase of the day: bottle v. to contain an opponent.

Issues and understanding

Wouldn’t ya know it, as soon as the season begins, I start having system issues. God Damn Dell, this PC isn’t even a year old! I'm posting from work today, which I'm not supposed to do. So don't expect any updates over the weekend. I'll try to fix the issue. Probably something to do with cookies. I also have a driver recognition issue which is what has prevented my access to iTunes that I have wisely (I hope) stored on my portable hard drive.

Not much else going on here on the Southside. Not even any good sex stories to tell.

I have noticed that the number of views of this page has jumped in a big way this past week. Over the course of the past few months, I've been getting - give or take - about 50 hits a day, about 1000 per month. That's jumped to 100 day, and over 1000 in the last week. Not sure why, but here are two theories:
1) baseball season has begun and my self promotion on other Sox web sites is paying off.
2) I've been added as a link from a super cool blog from Cleveland called "The Blast Furnace". I've added his link to this site at right (http://www.theblastfurnace.net/).

So if you visit this site, leave me some feedback, OK? Thanks.

The Blast Furnace is a lot like this blog, but with less sex. And its set in Cleveland. I was born in Chicago, but a lot of my family is from the North Coast, and I've spent tons of time there, calling it home on and off from 1994 thru 1996, and I went to school at Ohio U, so I have contacts there. Its a great place to visit - especially the West Side Market, the Art Museum, the parks, the Jake, the WIlliam Mather, Aladdin's in Lakewood, Heck's burgers (for meat eaters) the Old Arcade, even the rock n roll HOF isn't so bad if you think of it as just a really big Hard Rock Cafe with no food. I'm almost ashamed to say that one of my first concerts was seeing the Michael Stanley Band at Blossom Music Center back in 1984. Man, what was I thinkin? I hated living there, its just too small. And the whole city closes down by 2 am. And all day on sundays. I need a 24 hour burg, round the clock excitement and authentic big ass burritos for $3 at 6am on Xmas morning (at El Farol in Summit). Yeah, can't image leaving Chicago. Ever. Unless I can find a way to move to Europe.

I haven’t posted in a few days, so here are some quick hitters.

For every win like wednesday, when the Sox pull it out in the bottom of the 9th, coming back form a 3-0 defecit on back-to-back homers from Konerko and Dye to win 4-3, there is a game like today, when they blow a 5-2 lead in the 9th. Its especially disturbing because a rare, fine outing from Contreas gets wasted. At least Iguchi is hitting. The Sox head up to Minnesota for a weekend series.

Speaking of the Twins, my pal who works for them might not be able to get me free tickets any more, beginning later this month when they come to Comiskey Park. Apparently, MLB has some new rule that taxes comped tickets. He’s searching for a work around, but in the meantime, I’m stuck. Its especially painful since my friend with Cub season tickets moved to NY at the end of last year. Am I gonna have to start paying for tickets to see games? Damn! The Sox/Dodger bleacher tickets I bought for June 17 are the first I've paid for since 1993.

Friday is opening day for most oF the minor leagues (A ball and up). Keep it tuned here to Southside Adventures for all the daily updates from Birmingham to Great Falls.

Sounds like a deal is in the works to move the Sox radio broadcasts to WSCR ‘The Score’ 670 AM. Its about time. I still have friends who work there, so maybe I can get some comped tickets from them, along with insightful baseball commentary.

On the heels of the Bellow death, another Southside icon has passed away. Bob Kennedy, former Comiskey Park vendor, Sox player and Cub manager and GM is no longer with us.

Still plowing thru Moneyball. 100 pages in and there is a lot of praise for Bill James. I’m unconvinced. Sure, stats don’t lie, but in baseball, like in life, there is no sure thing.

Baseball phrase of the day: step in the bucket v. to step back or pull away from home plate with one’s front foot while batting (I heard Hawk use this one on Thursday’s broadcast).

Today’s music selection: Loud and proud from the 1980s – Husker Du’s Flip Your Wig, the Minutemen’s sprawling masterpiece Double Nickels On the Dime, the criminally overlooked Young Fresh Fellow’s It’s Low Beat Time. Also, some 1960s era Herbie Hancock – the chill Maiden Voyage.

12 inches of love

coming soon - another one of my vices

No Sox game today, so I'm watching the Cub and drinking Old Style.

After havin such a bllast playing my first full season of 12 inch since 1996, I've signed on to two teams this year. Luckily, my main team will be playing in Grant Park as opposed to Lincoln Park, which makes my commute between the financial district, the game, and my initial point of commute - Union Staion - much easier than having to schlep up to the fields at North and Clark.

One problem, I'm in need of a post game watering hole. Preferrably, one that is frequented by slutty art-like goth chicks from the Institute and Columbia. Sure, I know about Cal's, but what else is down that way? Suggestions would be much appreciated.

On a down note, legendary Chicagoian and Southsider (and Nobel laurete) Saul Bellow has died. Bellow's prose is dense, but The Adventures of Augie March is accessable and one my all time favorites. I never knew the man, but did ride in an elevator with him once, near the corner of 59th and Dorchester.

Opening day duel

So it was a pitcher's dual under the unseasonably warm springtime sun on the southside yesterday.

Can you read a box score? Buehrle pitches 8 great innings, giving up just 2 hits. Striking out 5. Mr. Zero gets the save. Konerko gets 2 hits and drive in the lone run. Course if Ozuna had been in the line up...

I started in on Moneyball and so far Beane is not coming off as a super genius (though I have no doubt he is). He passed on both Bonderman and Sheets, though for Sheets at least it was for Zito. Only time will tell who winds up being the better of those two.

On the brain

these are a few of my favorite things

... and sex on my mind. Got some last night, and not just the standard 10 minutes of missionary, but an extended PSE. I just love doggie with a girl who has tattoos on her lower back, gives me a nice target to aim for... and that head bobbing back n forth. Sooo sexy. Candlelight making our shadows on the wall, vainly checking ourselves in the mirror, at some point I have to remember its real life and not a porno. There is no love like creamy love. Mmmmm sex gravy.

With both Sox and Cub openers next week, Time Out Chicago has published an all-baseball issue in advance of the events. Some good stuff if you can find a copy. The publication rates the teams in 12 different categories, including stuff like "Best nearby haute cuisine." They did have the sense to name "Exile in Wrigleyville" the best Sox blog, though an honorable mention for yours truly would've been nice. Apparently, the "Best (Sox) bar to pick up a fellow fan" is Puffer's. So, look for yours truly to be trolling that joint this summer.

Dairy League Update: the Sox two games exhibition set in Milwaukee was fun to watch. Friday night. Contreas pitched better than his numbers show. Marte was thowing ultra-hard, but couldn't find the plate. Ozuna had a hit on a swing that was, I swear, perfect - just so nice and level. Even DJ predictied he'd smoke one, and moments later he did. Amazing. The rest of the pitching was again medicore. Saturday afternoon under the cold Wisco sun, Garland threw 6 IP and gave up 3 ER, striking out 4. Cotts had what might have been his worst outing of the pre-season, but still pitched well. The Sox just leave too many men on base.

Ozuna note: .527 spring average (29-for-55) gave him the highest Spring Training average by a White Sox player since 1969 (minimum 40 plate appearances).

My Twins ticket connection is not able to get me any comps at this point. Something to with MLB now taxing comp tickets as income. Bastards! So until the traveling secretary can figure something out, I guess I'm stuck.

Low on funds, I bought a 6-pack of Old Style tall boys to last me thru the weekend. According to the can, Old Style is celebrating 55 years of loyal Cub sponsorship.

One of my favorite segments on the Mike Murphy Show on WSCR Sportsradio 670 AM is the "I predict" bit. Sometimes accurate, always speculative. There is no glory in picking the favorite, so here are some my predictions for the Sox and the Southside in 2005:
--Sox have one of their best years ever in attendance (top 4)
--one of the old Cubans (probably Contreas) is injuried before May is done, and McCarthy gets the call up. Wins 12.
--Pablo Ozuna starts strong but fades after the All Star break
--Aaron Rowand makes the AL All Star team
--either Marte or Politte are gone by August
--housing prices in Bridgeport rise by less than 10%
--the Cub finish the season below .500
--the Sox win the World Series. Defeating the San Diego Padres (or NY Mets) 4 games to 2. (Hey, there is no glory in picking the favorites!)

Baseball phrase of the day: click on all nine v. to possess good teamwork.

Today's music selection: the Pod continues to be a bit all over the place, playing the likes of the Ventrues, Outkast, Dire Straits, and Monk. Luckily, also some sensual Ginuwine.

I'm about 150 pages into Angela's Ashes and though its wonderful, I have to take a break. I picked up Michael Lewis Moneyball, Charles Dickens American Notes and Richard Lindberg's Stealing First in a Two Team Town at the library today. I've got to plow thru those before I can get back to the humorous yet depressing Frank McCourt, which, once completed, clears a path for my long summer with the Studs Lonigan Trilogy. Also found a nice hardcover copy of Joseph Heller's Something Happens for sale at the library 50 cents. Its one of Matt Groening's favorites, so that a fair enough endorsement for me.

I watched some of the Yankees-Red Sox game on the deuce tonight. Enter Sam Ryan, a smokin hot sexy ass MILF reporter roamin the stands and interviewing celebs. So hot she nearly set my TV on fire. Whoa! See ya at Comiskey on June 19, honey.

Opening day tomorrow. Once again, the championship is there for the taking...

Sidd Finch Turns 20!

Myth..legend...

The Mark Fidrych-like myth born from the mind of the late George Plimpton turns 20 today. I won't retell the tall tale here. If you want to know more, just type "Sidd Finch" into any search engine and read all about it. What I will tell you is that I vividly recall first hearing about (and believing, I was a fool at 16, I'll admit it) Mr. Finch while waiting in line outside Wrigley Field on a cold spring day. I don't recall if I was waiting to get into the bleachers or waiting to buy tickets for the promising 1985 season (Shawon Dunston!), but I do remember thinking that the Mets had a lock on the NL East in 1985 if this Finch guy could indeed throw 200 mph...

Pod Pleasure

Pod love

I love my 15 GB iPod, and it has served my well over the past two years. Sadly, iTunes has been down on my PC for about 6 months now. Its not iTunes fault, but the stupid 120GB remote hard drive that I use to store all my pics and music files. I'm just too lazy to fix it.

But I am preparing for an erotic weekend by loading up on the chill tunes... Nuthin like alil Morcheeba to grease the wheels of love... More to follow.