Here We Come, Motherfucker!

Photo used without permission. AP/Nam Y. Huh

He dint? He dint? Oh yeah, he did!

Sox Update: Tuesday May 31, 2005 belonged to Jermaine Dye on the Southside. Not only did he make a spectacular catch in the field, his solo homer in the top of the 9th wins it, 5-4 over the LA Angels. Say what you will about Dye being a streaky hitter, his defense has been clutch. And he hits when he has to. Thank you KW!

Speaking of good moves by KW, Seattle sent Olivio down to AAA. Meanwhile Freddy Garcia pitches 5 and 1/3rd, striking out, giving up 3 and keeping the Sox in it. Garcia may not have fulfilled his potential (yet) but he was a quality trade.

Since the Twins lost, the Sox entended their lead to 5 games in the AL Central. With the season 1/3rd of the way over, who woulda thunk that the best record in baseball resides at 35th and Shields?

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Whaddya know? a 3-2 win! Some clown named Person keeps the Knights in it by striking out 5 in 6 IP, giving up just 2 ER.

Birmingham (AA): rain out.

Winston-Salem (A): very ugly loss.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Rome 4-1. Again it was the Gonzales twins providing the pop, with Gonzales The Hitter going 2 for 4 with an RBI and Gonzales the pitcher throwing 8 innings of scoreless 1 hit ball, striking out 9.

Baseball phrase of the day: linea n. line drive (in Spanish)

My softball team won fairly easily tonight, 22-7. I had an off night at the plate, going 1 for 4 with a single. But I made some good plays in the field including an unassisted double play on a hot liner up the middle.

I've been reading some great confessions on www.notproud.com, and I have to confess some of them make me laugh, but other make me horny. Here's an obvious confession from yours truly; I wanna fuck every hot girl I see.

Today's music selection: The iPod was all over the board. Laugh if you like, but I listened to a lot of nostaglia tonight. Luckily, I was in a good mood. Here's a partial list:
Journey "Anyway You Want It (Live)"
Led Zepplin "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
Del Fuegos "Dreams of You"
TPOH "I'm An Adult Now" (Moe Berg is just fuckin awsome)
Bryan Adams "Cuts Like A Knife"
Big Country "In A Big Country"
Del Amitri "Kiss This Thing Goodbye"
Bruce Hornsby "Valley Road (live acoustic)"
Madonna "Take A Bow"
Young Fresh Fellows "Unimaginable Zero Summer"
Goo Goo Dolls cover of "Don't Change"
Pixies "Here Comes Your Man"
Graham Parker "Watch The Moon Come Down"
Hoodoo Gurus "What's My Scene"
Lemonheads "Mallo Cup"
Elvis Costello "The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes"
James Taylor "Walking Man"
Ted Leo "Criminal Place"
Melissa Ethridge "Ain't The Night Heavy"
Paul Westerberg "Kickin The Stall"
Van Morrison "The Smile You Smile"
Wire Train "Diving"

Sunshine day

summer of sun, summer of lust

The weather since wednesday has just been 'off the charts' incredible. Summer is definately here. And I'm so fucking horny I can't stand it.

I enjoyed my time off, and accomplished nothing. Oh, I did drink a lot of beer. And despite getting paid on friday, overdrew my bank account to the tune of $100.

Back to the grind on tuesday...

Sox Update: Big Frank makes his big return in front of a BIG crowd on a gorgeous day on the Southside of Chicago. The Sox break their three game skid (their longest losing streak so far this season) with a 5-4 win over the LA Angels. Timo gets the game winning hit, driving in 2 with a single. Thomas was 0 for 2 with a walk. Iguchi looked good, 1 for 2 with a double and 2 walks, though he did commit an error. Buehrle pitched well enough to get the win.

The Sox picked up the 2006 option on Ozzie's contract, and, prematurely, I think, gave him guaranteed $ for 2007 and 2008, with an option for 2009.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): did play...and lost...

Birmingham (AA): Lose to West Tenn 5-2. Young goes 2 for 3 with 2 doubles.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Myrtle BEach 10-9. Collaro watch: 1 for 4. Daigle was 3 for 3 with 5 RBIs and 2 walks. Haigwood struck out 7 in 6IP< but he also yielded 6 ER.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Rome 7-4. Berry was 3 for 5.

Baseball phrase of the day: dilly n./arch. a spectacular hit.

Today's music selection: if its summer its got to be Paul Westerberg's Mono and Ted Leo & The Pharmacists Shake The Sheets.

In memory

A great one

Chico Carrasquel, the first in a long line of Venezuelan shortstops to play on the Southside, died over the weekend. He was 77. Chico was a fan favorite, both during his playing days with the Go-Go Sox in the 1950s, and off the field as a coach and commentator with the organization. I had the pleasure to work with Chico more than a decade ago, when I was in a former life a member of the Chicago media. He was always a joy to talk with and will be missed. The Sox will pay tribute to him before monday afternoon's game at Comiskey vs the LA Angels, which will be on ESPN. Look for a video montage and a rendition of the Venezuelan national anthem.

The other news is, Frank Thomas will make his return on monday. Brandon McCarthy was sent down to Charlotte in an effort to make room. McCarthy had two starts with mixed results. Against the Cubs, he pitched good enough to win. Against Texas, he got shelled, as the Rangers ate him alive and knocked all his fastballs clear to the Prairie Chapel Ranch.

The Sox are still the best team in baseball, but are currently in their worst losing streak of the season - 3 in a row and just 2-4 in their last 6 games. The road trip to LA and Texas was brutal. Forget the Yankees and Red Sox, the Rangers and Angels look like the teams to beat in the AL. Here's hoping they beat on each other before the playoffs begin.

Gone fishin

its gonna be fun in the sun

The weather is just so sick again today.

So, I'm taking a day or two off from the blog.

In my absence, please obtain your Sox news and porn fix somehweres else.

I did provide a short piece on last night's game and Pablo Ozuna over at The Standing Ovation (link at right).

Brandon McCarthy on the hill tonight for the Sox in Texas.

2...its a magic number

afternoon delight

Maybe its the full moon, or the spring weather... Whatever, wednesday I stayed home to work on the house. Had a nooner with the MILF in the basement. It was knda 'spur-of-the-moment' so I had no lube handy. It took some work to fit inside her. But once in, the juices flowed. It was a short, hard session on a dirty old futon, ending after much hard core pound fucking, as our exhaused bodies collasped into each other.

Then, last night, we went out to dinner at our favorite Asian fusion place in Oakbrook. We ate like pigs and drank like fish. After a sexy dessert of fried wontons and rich ice cream drizzled with cinnamon, we wandered around Borders. I bought my first CD in over a year, and my first classical CD ever - Haydn's Symphonies 93-98. Woo-hoo! Hayden rocks!

Back home, we did it again, albeit uneventful missionary-style. The KY Warming Gel provides some lube. I can't remember the last time I had sex twice in one day (spread out by more than a half hour), and its been even longer since I had a nooner. Good for me.

And to show my appreciation, I followed up our late night session by giving her a long, deep tissue massage...

Sox Update: The Sox squeak past the Angels, 4-2. Konerko continues to come around, going 2 for 4 with a homer and 3 RBIs. Widger continues to prove himself as a worthy back-up to AJ, going 3 for 4 with a homer. I was a little disappointed that Ozuna, leading off, was 0 for 3. The pitching wins it, once again. The Sox win their 2nd in a row.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Big Frank was 0 for 4 with a strikeout.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Tenn 8-4. Owens and Gonzales each get hits. Young goes 2 for 4 with a homer. Rogo uncharacteristically struck out thrice. Pollak nearly blows it, giving up 2 runs in the 9th.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Myrtle Beach 4-3. Collaro Watch: 1 for 5. Hall was 3 for 5.

Kannapolis (A):Beat Savannah 7-6. Cook goes 2 for 4 with a homer and 3 RBIs. Gonzales struck out 9 in 7 IP, giving up 2 walks, 2 homers and 3 ER.

Baseball phrase of the day: slugsmith n. heavy hitter.

Not much else going on...

Two Fer Tuesday

Home Run Baker

Just got back from softball in Grant Park. Your humble author, a lead off hitter, was 3 for 4 with 2 homers and 6 RBIs in an 11-8 losing effort. So for the season I'm 6 for 7 with 3 homers and 9 RBIs. Damn! I made some good plays in the field too, as the world's only left-handed shortstop no less, including a Willie Mays-style over-the-shoulder catch on a pop up into short left field, then whirled around, threw a strike and doubled the runner off first. The team we played was stacked with hotties. And I mean stunning, Playboy model material. Fuck. We should've beat them. Maybe I was distracted by all the ass n boobs.

Sox Update: Everett homered. 10 innings later, Iguchi hit a double, scoring Crede. Buehrle yielded just one earned run in a full 9, striking out 6, walking 2. Marte earns the win in 2 innings of splendid relief work. At 32-14, the 2005 Sox have tied the 1951 and 1957 Sox for the best start in franchise history after 46 games. Let's hope the final outcome this year is better than it was in '51 or '57.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Thomas was 0 for 2 with 2 walks and an RBI. And - hey - the Knights won one! 5-4 over Buffalo!

Birmingham (AA): Beat Tenn 1-0 on a Rogo homer. He was 3 for 3.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose to Myrtle Beach 5-4. Collaro Watch; 1 for 5. Lee was 3 for 4 with a homer.

Kannapolis (A): Lose to Greenville 7-3. Cook drew 3 walks and was 1 for 2. Moat picked up 3 Ks in 2 IP of relief work.

Baseball phrase of the day: taking another day off.

Today's music selection: some Art Blakely and the Jazz Messengers. Laid back...

California style

Just like that

Had a quick session with the MILF last night. A little too quick, but its been a while and she felt so gooood. Wearing nothing but a gray tanktop and a smile. Mmm mmm mmm.... I slid in easy and then pounded away as usual. After a few minutes, I took it down a notch and moved slow, so we could really feel each other. She seemed to like that, and the slower I went, the tighter she held me...

Sox Update: The Sox look limp in a 4-0 loss to the LA Angels. Garland had his worst outing of the year, but still only gave up 3 ER. Iguchi and Konerko each went 2 for 4. Santana looked impressive and Molina just kills... From what I've seen so far in 2005, the Angels may actually be the best team in the AL. Whether or not they can win it all over the long haul remains to be seen. But this is a team the Sox are really going to have to worry about.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Trust me, you don't want to know. Big Frank took the day off.

Birmingham (AA): Nothing good here either in a 7-2 loss to Tennessee.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose a close one, 8-7 to Myrtle Beach. Collaro Watch: 2 for 3 with an RBI, a double and 2 runs scored. Hinton was 2 for 4 with 2 doubles and 2 RBIs. Hall homered.

Kannapolis (A): Lose 8-6 to Greenville. Hansen goes 3 for 5. Berry drew 3 walks. Cook homered.

Baseball phrase of the day: high mass n./arch. a sunday doubleheader.

Today's music selection:Some fine Fountains of Wayne...

I've added some new links at the right, one to a Co-op basaeball blog called The Standing Ovation. Other links are to some legit Southside news sources like The Maroon and the Hyde Park Herald.

Don't Be Sad Part 2

Sox Update: Sox take two of three from the Cub at Wrigley, falling on sunday 4-3. McCarthy did his part - throwing 78 pitches over 5 and 1/3rd, he striking out 6, walking one and giving up 2 ER. Prior was his old self, going the distance for the impressive win. Good for him. Vizcaino blew it for the Sox in relief. He better get his shit together and fast or else wind up with the Kinghts. YIKES! The long ball was the order of the day, with Iguchi, Dye and Konerko all hitting solo homers.

Onto LA to face the Angels in 4 late night games beginning tomorrow.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): don't even ask. Big Frank was 1 for 4 with a single and a strikeout.

Birmingham (AA): Won 5-3 over WestTenn. Rogo was 2 for 3 with 2 RBIs and a homer. Lamauara struck out 3 in 1 and 1/3rd.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose to Kinston 10-4. Ya think 5 Hog errors mighta had something to do with it? Collaro Watch: 2 for 4 with a solo homer, so he's offically out of his slump. Daigle and Hall also collected 2 hits apiece. Flores struck out 6 in 5 and 1/3rd.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Greenville 4-1. Cook goes 4 for 4 with 2 solo homers.

Lazy Hazy Part 1

I haven't given the blog much attention the past two days. Sorry... I blame the weather... and the makers of Special Export. I just wish I had a sex story to tell...

Sox Update: The Southsiders take the first two. I won't rehash the stats here. Suffice to say that, unlike other Sox bloggers, I have always had confidence in Jermaine Dye. AJ is just on a tear. Contreras pitched well, again, with no run support.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): On friday, guess what happened? Another loss to Ottawa!!! Big Frank was 0 for 3... Apparently, on saturday, Buffalo became a member of the 2-team International league, and lost to the Knights, 2-1. Thomas was 1 for 4.

Birmingham (AA): On friday, the Barons lost to West Tenn, 7-3. Rogo was 2 for 4 with a homer and a triple. Lamura struck out 3 in 1 and 1/3rd IP. At press time, the game on saturday was in the 14th inning, deadlocked at 1. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Winston-Salem (A): On friday, the 'hog beat Kinston, 5-3. Collaro watch: 2 for 4 with a homer. Dizard struck out 7 in 6 IP. Saturday was more of the same, beating Kinston 3-2.

Kannapolis (A): On friday, and I shit you not, Kannapolis and Delmarva played for 18 innings ( yes, 18 innings). You'd think they'd stop these Low A games after about 15 innings and just let everyone go home with a pat on the back. Oh, Delmarva won, 7-6. The bizarre box score defies explaination, but Smith, Gonzales and King each had 3 hits ( though they each had at least 8 at bats). A different Gonzales was the starting pitcher, and struck out 8 in just 4 and 1/3rd. Moat picked up 6 Ks in just 2 and 2/3rd. Perez pitched 5 and 2/3rd in relief. Apparently tired from friday's epic battle, the Intimdators fall to Greenville on saturday 16-4. Gonzales (not the pitcher Gonzales, the other one) was 3 for 5.

Here He Comes!

yep

The top pitching prospect in baseball - Brandon McCarthy - makes his major league debut on sunday at Wrigley Field.

God help the Cub.

Good mood

true love

The Sox win.

So to celebrate, here is a pic of two smokin hot girls kissing.

Go Sox!

Derby Days Part 1

Chicago Derby begins today. Hat on!

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): the never ending series against Ottawa continues. Big Frank was 1 for 4 wtih a single as the Knight lose to the Lynx 5-2.

Birmingham (AA): off day.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Salem 22-8. (yes, 22-8). Collaro watch: 4 for 5 with 2 homers and 6 RBIs. WOW. Slump over. Hall was 3 for 4 with 2 homers and 6 RBIs. Nanita was 3 for 5 with 4 RBIs. Schnurstein was 3 for 3. Amador was 2 for 5 with a homer. Hinton somehow managed to go 0 for 5 and strike out 3 times.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Delmarva 1-0 but took 13 innings to do it. Harrell struck out 8 in 7 IP.

Unimaginable Zero Summer

UZS

My good pal Leslie Stella has written another great book - Unimaginable Zero Summer. The story revolves around a bunch of 30-somethings in Chicago preparing for a high school reunion at Downers Grove South High School.

You may have heard of Leslie's first two books - the subvert-from-within classic debut Fat Bald Jeff, and her hilarious tribute to lowering the upper class by bringing a bit of Bridgeport to the Gold Coast- The Easy Hour.

I think with UZS, Stella really shows how much she honed her craft. Her dialogue has always been "laugh out loud" funny, and it is here as well, but the sentences are even tighter. She tells a great story at a perfect pace. In UZS, she creates her most interesting characters to date.

A lot of her content is familiar stuff, as she weaves music and pop culture into Chicago area settings. Among the long forgotten bands she mentions are the Psychedelic Furs, Ulravox, the Young Fresh Fellows, the Replacements...

Here's a sample of some of the commentary, out of context of course, from one of the book's best characters, a bitter Vietnam vet bookstore clerk named Bob:

On Dr. Phil: "I'd like to kick that mustache into the back of his skull."

On 'Chicken Soup For the Soul': "I'd like to take a pot of boiling chicken soup and shove it down his fucking throat."

Another character, Charlie, taking about his haunted apartment in Rogers Park: "Did you ever think a three-flat in Rogers Park would be the afterlife? How depressing. But I guess its better than haunting the south side. Can you imagine spending eternity in Bridgeport? Your soul would be floating around 35th street thinking 'Oh my God! I've been sent to hell."

Some more great quotes:

"I'm not broke just because I'm Polish and grew up in Westmont."

"Are you getting 'mommy urges'?"
"Does craving alchohol count?"

"...he found he could not forgive her for liking the Dave Matthews Band."

"I'm not ready for the Cubs and Red Sox to face off in the World Series. I have a lot of things I want to do before toads rain upon the land and the earth spins into the sun."

"She had not drunk like this in years. Her stockpile of 'I was so wasted' stories remained archived and smoldering, a black box recording retrived from a wreckage of shame."

"Downers Grove may suck, but its almost like home to me."

Leslie will be reading from Unimaginable Zero Summer this saturday, May 21 at her old stompin grounds, Quimby's at 1854 W. North Avenue, at 7 pm.

Wednesday in the sun

I went to the game on wednesday. The rain held off and the weather was nearly perfect. Stopped on the way for a cold bottle of Old Style, al fresco, at Cal's Liquors in the South Loop before heading down to the ball yard. There is something very satisfying about drinking a beer outside at noon on a wednesday. What a country! I sat in section 328, which is the reserved box area. Super nice seats, great views and clean, uncrowded bathrooms - I was a total gypsy in the palace.

I have no real observations on the game. It didn't look to me like Konerko's homer made it over the fence, much less was fair. But it got out of the yard so damn fast it was hard to tell. Just before one of Dye's doubles, I noticed the Texas leftfielder was playing straight away and giving him too much room down the line. I said to my friend, "There's giving Dye too much room down the left field line," and less than 3 seconds later, he wrapped one around 3rd. The Ranger catcher Barajas was a terror - gunning down 3 Sox runners trying to steal second, including sPod and Ozuna. None were even close plays. That dude has a cannon for an arm.

After the game my friends and I headed over Jimbos and again enjoyed our Old Style beers outdoors. The waitress was hot.

Sox Update: Konerko continues to slowly emerge from the 0 for 26 slump, going 3 for 4 with a homer. Dye also continues to improves- he was 3 for 4 with 3 doubles and drove in 2. AJ homered for his 4th straight game. I was a little disappointed in Ozuna's performance. He was 1 for 3, but left 4 runners stranded.

Off day today before heading up to Wrigleyville for the first of this season's city series. It should be nuts, so I'm going to try to stay in the burbs. I think I have to go to Bucktown on saturday evening, so I hope all the drunks have passed out by then instead of moving the party west.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Finally beat Ottawa - 7-0. Frank Thomas was 1 for 5 with 2 strikeouts. Borchard homered. Casanova drove in 3.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Miss 6-4. Young struck out 4 times.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Salem 11-6. Collaro watch; 2 for 5 with 2 doubles and 2 RBIs. Daigle was 3 for 5 with 3 RBIs, Shaffer was 3 for 4. Hinton and Nanita homered.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Delmarva 7-2. King and Hernandez each had 3 hits.

Baseball phrase of the day: buck-fifty n.adj. batting average of around .150 - as in, "He's battin' 'bout a buck-fifty."

Olde Tyme Movie Review: Kinsey (2004). this isn't really an 'old' movie, but it is a period piece. It was tastefully done, and that's the problem, they had a chance ato create some wild scenes and chose not to. But it does make me want to read up on the topic a bit more.

Let the games begin

opening day

My 12 inch coed softball team opened the season at Grant Park earlier this week. Last season, playing up in Lincoln Park, we did OK, going something like 3 and 4. This year we started off the season with a bang. I hit leadoff, and am NOT a power hitter, but I led off the game (and the season) with a homer. The next 3 batters also homered. I've been playing baseball or softball since I was 5 and I don't think I've ever seen back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers ever, much less to open a game (or a season). We won 21-7.

All Hail Jon Garland!

Sox Update: The Sox snap a 3-game skip with a masterpiece from the now 8-0 Jon Garland. I never thought I'd write that, so I'm going to write it again just to make sure I'm not dreaming. The 8-0 Jon Garland. AJ homers for his 3rd straight game, Hermanson remains unscored on, picking up his 9th save. Shingo who? sPod was 2 for 4 with a SB and 2 runs scored.

I'll be at the game tomorrow. Fuckin Go Sox!

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Despite the AAA debut of future Hall of Famer Frank Thomas, the Knights still find a way to lose - 9-8 to Ottawa. The Big Hurt was 2 for 3 with a double, a walk and 2 runs scored. Anderson was 3 for 5, including a homer, and drove in 3. Norton and Burke each drove in two, though Burke also struck out 3 times. Adkins gave up 7 ER in 5 IP.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Mississippi 10-3. Rogo draws 4 walks and scores three times. Stewart was 3 for 5.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Salem 7-5. Collaro watch; 1 for 4, the mini slump continues. Daigle was 4 for 4 including a homer and 3 runs scored.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Delmarva 9-5. De Los Santos was 3 for 4. Moat strikes out 5 in 3 and 1/3rd of relief and gets the win.

Baseball phrase of the day: kitchen n. the area of a batter's torso imside or at the edge of the high and inside portion of the strike zone.

Party Hard Part 2

CHUG!

Photo by Jake Mechlenborg. Courtsey of The Post/Ohio University.

ATHENS, Ohio (AP) - I thought the picture I posted last week of the "Beer pong lovin' Grandma" was the be-all-end-all to my unchallenged arguement that Ohio U is the world's most insane party school. But then I came across this picture from the May 16th edition of the student newspaper. As wild as the picture itself is - a 60ish guy chugging liquor out of the anus of a plastic pink flamingo - the real punch line lies in the caption -

"(Retired) Economics professor Jan Palmer indulges in a 'flambongo'..."

Party on, dudes!!!

Ouch! - Big Hurts Part 1

This one hurt.

Sox Update: A beauitiful grand slam by AJ is wasted, as the Sox lose a tough one to Texas, 7-6. El Duque had his worst outing of the season, giving up 6 ER in just 2 and 2/3rds, during which he threw 70 pitches, which illustrates the degree of his struggle. One the plus side, Mr Zero and Politte both pitched well. Maybe Hermanson is hurting, but I think it was a mistake to throw Marte up there in the 9th. Rowand was 3 for 4, Iguchi homered. Konerko continues to struggle, he was 0 for 3 with 2 strikeouts and a walk. Losing this one was a real shame, since Texas pitcher Chan Ho Park simply could not find the plate.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): is it just me or does it seem like this series against Ottawa has been going on for about 10 days. The good, the bad and the ugly begins tonight in Ottawa as Frank Thomas begins his rehab assignment.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Mississippi 4-3. Sweeney was 3 for 4. Young stuck out 3 times.

Winston-Salem (A): off day

Kannapolis (A): lose uneventfully to WV, 3-1.

Baseball phrase of the day: is taking a day off.

Dickens' American Notes was due back at the library, so I had to return it even though I was only a few pages in. Before diving back into Angela's Ashes, I picked up a thin book - Legacy of Love; My education in the path of non violence by Arun Gandhi. As the name suggests, he's related to thee Gandhi - he's a grandson. Like the Young Fresh Fellows said in Hank, Karen and Elvis - "everyone who was there has got to write about it"... and such is the case here. I don't know anything about thee Gandhi, but I've always wanted to know more, and figured this book, which was a gift, would be a good starting point. 40 pages in and I love it, though I disagree with some of it. But Arun is quick to paraphrase some vague catch-all simplistic philsophy, which is endearing . One of the better ones he throws out there is in regards to sex:

"In modern life, sex dominates people's lives to such an extent that it becomes a cultural obession. Mass media bombards us with erotic images, and marketers blanket us with offers to enhance our sexual pleasure. (Gandhi) was not opposed to the enjoyment of healthy sexuality. But he sought to break the obession that destroys humanity and makes us lose the respect that we have for one another"

OK, fine. Personally, I believe in empowerment thru sexual freedom for both men and women. But I get what you're saying.

".... (Gandhi) viewed sex, just like work, wealth, and leisure, as one rung of a high ladder that each of us must master to become better human beings."

Cheers to that! I'm all about mastering sex thru lots of practice.

No groovin'

On this sunday afternoon....

Sox Update: Sox lose a rough one to Baltimore, 6-2, in front of over 30,000 again at New Comiskey Park. They trailed the entire game, thus ending the record streeak of leading in 37 games to begin the year. Konerko continues to be mired in a slump - he was 0 for 4 with 2 strikeouts. On the plus side, Everett and Dye hit back-to-back homers. sPod was 2 for 4. Contreras had good enough stuff to win this one (again) and post-game Ozzie said it was the best pitching performance Jose has had so far this season - he gave up 4 ER in 6 and 1/3rd IP, striking out 4 walking just one. Contreras has been better than expected this year - keeping the Sox in every game he's pitched.

Texas come to town for a 3 game series beginning on half price night, aka "Monday NIght Fights." Plenty of great seats still available...

I normally don't read what the traditional mainstream media has to say. But Melissa Issacson had a good piece on Jon Garland in sunday's Tribune. Among the reasons for his success this year - less weight training. Also, apparently, his mother forbid him from throwing curveballs when he was younger, thus preserving his arm.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): The Knights futility appears to be wearing on even the unstoppable Brandon McCarthy. In a 9-2 loss to Buffalo, he gave up 6 ER in 5 IP, including 2 homers, and stuck out just 4 batters. Someone get this guy the hell out of Charlotte, even if you have to send him down to...

Birmingham (AA): who lost a close on the Jax 1-0 in the 9th.

Winston-Salem (A): beat Lynchburg 8-4. Collaro watch: 0 for 4, including 2 strikeouts, as the slump continues. Daigle was 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs.

Kannapolis (A): made up yesterday rainout by splitting a doubleheader with WV. In game 2, Hansen hit 2 homers and drove in 6 runs. Kelly drove in 3. Gonzales struck out 6 in 4 IP, giving up no runs.

Baseball phrase of the day: show, the n. the major leagues.

In Heat #1

yep

What a MILF!

In Heat #2

boobs

Speaking of nice boobs. I've never watched Everybody Loves Raymond, but this Heaton chick is hot. Total MILF.

Downer

Sox Update: the Sox lose a tough one, 9-6 to the O's and send 38,000 fans home disappointed. It was a good game. sPod is just a terror on the basepaths. He got two lucky swinging bunt singles, then proceeded to steal 2nd and 3rd both times. His 4 stolen bases in the game tie the all time club record..and its the second time he's done it THIS MONTH. AJ homered. Konerko was 0 for 2, but he walked twice. Garcia did not look great, giving up 7 ER in 6 IP. I know it was Garcia's turn to pitch in the rotation, but based on the fact that he pitches so much better in day games than night games, with sunday being a day game, I wonder why the Sox just didn't throw Contereas up there instead on saturday night.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): another loss, but it least this one was close - 5-4 to Buffalo.

Birmingham (AA): Won 9-4 over Jax. Sweeney was 3 for 5. Rogo homered.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose 9-6 to Lynchburg. Collaro Watch: 0 for 1. Nothing else notable...

Kannapolis (A): rained out...again.

Baseball phrase of the day: kalsomine v/arch. to hold scoreless, to whitewash.

Today's music selection: Even though I had the radio on for 3 hours while I worked outside on saturday, I'm not sure I can recall any music I heard. WDCB - the College of DuPage station - wasn't playing any jazz, and WBEZ had their usual saturday afternoon programming, which is that Garrison Keeler Show. So I got stuck listening to WXRT, which was playing mostly oldies like Jimmy Hendrix and Janis Joplin. I did hear a good new song from a local band called Textbook called "I Swear I Won't Be Late". The vocals were a bit whiny, but it has a cool guitar part. Luckily the Sox have an afternoon game on sunday, so I won't be subjected to the likes of Dave Matthews and the Cure.

I've never watched 'American Idol", but I have to admit that I think Kelly Clarkson is cute, and she has some nice pipes, and range, which put the Simpson sisters to shame. Clarkson is like the pop music equivalent of crack cocaine - I know its bad for me, but I like it anyways.

I watched 'The Woodsman' last night, which is not a good date movie. But Kyra Sedgwick does have some nice boobs.

Date Night

date night

...date with the MILF last night. We got a little dressed up and went out to a romantic and pricey meal at Braxton in Oakbrook. The combination of dim lighting, wood paneling, brass rails and flavorful food was sexy. We shared a slice of heavenly carrot cake for dessert, feeding it to each other. Once home, we made out on the couch like teenagers, touching, feeling, pinching, then moved into the bedroom. She peeled off her top while I stripped away her bottom. Her tight pants fell to the floor and she gingerly stepped out of them. I moved my hands slowly and firmly up her legs, pausing to play with her thong, then continuing to follow the curves of her upper body all the way up to her shoulders. I gently guided her back onto the bed, carefully put her legs together, and removed her panites. I wasted no time in lubing up and sliding inside her inviting box. We started slow, but soon increased the pace. Thrusting back and forth, every few seconds, I changed positions - first gripping her ankles, legs high in the air, then holding her arms down over her head tightly by her wrists, kissing her neck and moving my way down to her breasts, finally moving her legs to the side and just pounding away into her hot, wet hole. She was getting quite a fucking. Once we statred some dirty talking ("God, I love fucking you", "You don't understand - I want to fuck you all the time"), it didn't take long. And I empited myself deep inside her, holding it in to feel the gooey warmth of our mixed juices. She arched her back and squeezed her thighs around me in an effort to get every last drop and keep it.

I've gotten laid twice in the last three days, so I guess I'm on a roll. Much like the Sox...

Sox Update: It doesn't get much better than this. Konerko continues to break out of his slump, and gets a broken bat game winning hit, going 2 for 3 in the process with 2 RBIs and a walk and no strike outs. sPod was 3 for 5, but got caught stealing. He was nearly picked off at first as well, but Lopez dropped the run down throw. Not like it mattered, as Iguchi hit into a double play immediately afterwards. AJ showed some life at the plate, and was 2 for 4. No worries, he'll come around. Plus, he's been the man who's been keeping the pitchers in check and calling some great games. Dye continues to impress defensively, as he robbed Palmeiro with a great catch. Dustin Hermanson has moved nicely into the closer role while Mr. Zero gets his head together. Hermanson got his 3rd straight save and now has 8 on the year. Buehrle gets the win (he's now 6-1), despite giving up 3 ER in 8 IP, striking ouit 5.

The Sox are now 27-9, with a 6 game lead on Minnesota.

Today, my pal who works at US Cell scored some sweet free premium club box seat tickets to next wednesday's maitnee vs Texas. I'll be there and in the nice seats for once.

Down On The Farm:

The big news;
"The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball today announced that 11 Minor League players have been suspended for 15 games, effective today, for violation of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program."

Three of them from the Sox organization:
--Jorge Toca (Charlotte - AAA), who in 33 games this season led the team with 8 homers and 19 RBIs. He also was batting .273 at the time of the suspension.
--Robert Valido (Winston-Salem - A), who was hitting .313.
--Tetsu Yofu who had been with Charlotte, but was recently released.

In unrelated riod news, Charlotte released Jeremy Giambi.

Charlotte (AAA): The Knights are actually putting together a mini win streak. They beat Buffalo 11-5. Coquillette was 2 for 4 with a 3-run homer and 6 RBIs. Borchard was 3 for 4.

Birmingham (AA): uneventually lose to Jax, 4-0. Fields struck out thrice.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Lynchburg 4-2. Collaro Watch: 1 for 5, and he struck out 3 times. Ouch. Daigle was 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Hinton was 3 for 5 with 2 doubles. Haigwood struck out 5 in 5 IP, giving up just one ER.

Kannapolis (A): rained out.

Baseball phrase of the day: flea box n. a very small ballpark.

Today's music selection: the iPod shuffled a lot of tunes that just haul ass start to finish - Van Halen's 'Panama', Green Day's 'Armitage Shanks', Stevie Ray Vaughn's cover of 'Let the Good Times Roll' and the Georgia Satellietes 'Railroad Steel'.

I got my spring/summer catalogue from Ebbets Field Flannels in the mail today. Jerry Cohen and pals have bought the small uniform maker back from Stall & Dean, whom they sold it to in 2001. That is great news, as it appears they are going back to their basic roots, which are in vintage, unique, obscure minor league jerseys. Their prices are still a little high, but hopefully they'll still have the annual fall warehouse sale (plus, I'm a preferred customer so I get an extra 10% off). If you're ever in Seattle, they have a retail store and an outlet store near Safeco Field. Check out their new webstie at: www.ebbets.com

Thillens Stadium update; the cool little park on the far NW side has apparently reopened under the care of the Chicago Park District.

Closing this long entry like a freight train with more confessions from www.notproud.com:

I became unhappy in my relationship so I went out and picked a few guys to have hard ruff and drug induced sex with. The problem is I have maintained a sexual relationship with one of them, and now i can't stop dreaming of having him inside of me

I am such a sucker for lust. I feel it all the time.

Ain't it the truth.

Grandma loves the beer pong

Courtsey of The Post/Ohio University

Photo by Jake Mecklenborg

This picture says it all - I love it. I shudder to think what my life would've been like had I not attended the 4-year happy hour that is Ohio University. We have always partied rock hard. The above picture was captioned

" Vicky Erchick, with grandson and teammate Justin Hunt by her side, takes aim during a Montrose Street beer pong match Friday night. The popularity of Ohio University's annual Moms' Weekend remains strong and is one of the biggest sales weekends for Athens bar owners."

Mom's Weekend is just one of a number of such awsome drinkfests in Athens (the others being Halloween, Homecoming, Springfest/Palmerfest and Sibs Weekend. Yes, Sibs Weekend,. You can only imagine.). Moms Weekend was pretty wild, with Moms passed out or throwing up all over town. A few friends of mine actually got lucky and hooked up with a mom or two. And that was back in the 1980s. I'd bet a lot of these 21st Century moms are way hotter than in my day, and look like the sluts on that Desperate Housewives show. Fuck I wish I was 21 again! It was just crazy insanity all the time. Princeton Review consistently ranks us as one of the Top 10 Party Schools in the nation, and they are dead on.

Sox Update: Sox come home and win a good one-- 3-2 over Baltimore, in from of 30,000. AJ and Uribe homer. Iguchi goes 2 for 4. sPod swipes 2. Konerko is 0 for 3, so his 'larger' slump continues. Congrats to Jon Garland, the Sox 5th starter is the majors first 7 game winner of the season. I picked up Hermanson yesterday for my fantasy team and he responds with a save (his 2nd in two days) and he still has yet to give up a run this year. The best record in baseball just keeps getting better.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Bidness as usual in the International League as the Knights begin another losing streak with a 7-3 loss against Ottawa. But don't blame Adkins, he pitched well enough to win - 7 IP, only 1 ER and 3 Ks. Munoz comes in in relief and promptly gives up 3 ER in 1/3rd of an inning. Smith wasn't much better, yielding 3 ER in 1 inning. Lopez was 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs.

Birmingham (AA): a huge 13-5 over Mississippi. The top 5 hitters in the batting order - Gonzales, Young, Sweeney, Fields and Rogo - each collect two hits. Blakely goes 1 for 4, but that one hit was a 2-run homer. Good thing the Barons had the lumber out, as Villacis gives up 5 ER in 6 and 1/3rd IP, including 3 homer and 4 walks, while striking out just 4.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Salem 8-4. Collaro Watch: 1 for 5, so he's still mired in a mini-slump. Hinton goes 3 for 5. Myers and Hall each go 2 for 4 and drive in two runs. Rodrigues gets the win despite giving up 4 ER in 5 IP, striking ouit just 3.

Kannapolis (A): Lose to Lakewood 6-4. King goes 3 for 5. De Los Santos, Hansen and Castillo each collect 2 hits. Kelly hits a solo homer. Liotta gave up just 1 ER in 6 IP, striking out 8. Gonzalez blew it in the 7th giving up 1 ER and 3 walks in just 1/3rd IP. Little wasn't much better, giving up 3 ER and a walk in 1 and 1/3rd IP.

Baseball phrase of the day: shove along n.arch. the act of stealong a base.

Today's music selection: I finally heard some of Frank Zappa's 1979 masterpiece Joe's Garage. I'm glad I never heard it before, because as it sounds as fresh and as clever to me as anything that passes for new and innovative these days on WXRT (like Jeff Fuckin Tweedy and his talkin ashtray, shamelessly ripping off John Lennon).

I came across some cool websites earlier today (OK for work viewing):

www.notproud.com

www.dailyconfession.com

They might be mostly fiction, but I still love reading the naughty confessions - tres sexy!

Here's a sampling:
I was dating this really jealous guy who had been cheated on before. Just for the fun of it I had anal sex with a stranger on the beach. In the daytime. In my car. It was fun. I still don't know why I did it, though perhaps the previous sentence answers that question!

A quickie

quickie

Last night, after the kids were in bed, the MILF was out grocery shopping and stopped by for a quickie. She just walked in, headed for the bedroom, took of her pants and layed down. I lubed up and slid easily inside her. Just a few minutes of straight missionary style thrusting before I shot my seed deep into her. As quick as it was, I bet if she left ice cream in the back seat, it melted.

Sox Update: The Sox salvage a game down in TB and head for home. El Duque paints another masterpiece; 2 ER and 4 Ks in 6 and 1/3rds. Ozuna goes 2 for 3 with 2 runs scored on some good hustle. Speaking of hustle, Iguchi had 2 SBs.

Konerko continuies to slowly break out of his slump - wednessday afternoon he was 1 for 4 with a double and 2 RBIs. Since snapping his 0 for 26 stretch, in his last 5 games, Konerko is 4 for 16 (.250), with 2 homers, 8 RBIs, 6 walks and three strikeouts. Not great, but not a slump either.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): A rare win; 6-3 over Ottawa. Brown goes 3 for 3 with 2 doubles. Borchard also had 2 doubles. Guiterrez was 2 for 2. Toca went 2 for 4. Lopez had a 2-run homer. Diaz yields just 1 ER in 5 IP.

Birmingham (AA): Lose 8-5 to Mississippi in 11. Rogo and Reyes each drive in 2. Tracey pitched 4 and 1/3rd, giving up 5 ER and striking out 5. Lamura gets the loss, giving up 3 ER and 3 walks in the long, lonely inning (top of the 11th) he pitched in relief.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose to Salem 4-3. Collaro Watch; 1 for 3 with an RBI. Hinton had 2 doubles. Flores pitches 5 and 1/3rd, giving up 2 ER and striking out 4. Two Hog errors hurt bad...

Kannapolis (A): Swept a doubleheader from Lakewood, 2-0 and 3-1. In game 1, Hansen was 2 for 2 with 3 RBIs. Egbert pitched 7 scoreless innings, giving up just 4 hits and striking out 6. In game two, Cook was 2 for 3 with a homer and 2 RBIs.

Baseball phrase of the day: Chicago v./arch. to shut out the opposing team. To have been 'Chicagoed' (or 'Chicago'd') is to have been shut out. Last known usage in 1958.

Today's music selection: Hooverphonic's Inhaler. DJ Shadow's Entroducing. I've also started rediscovering Chicago's first album, Chicago Transit Authority (or Chicago I), which I loved as a kid. Growing up here, this album just sounds like the city (even though it was recorded in LA). The only other album I've ever heard that really sounds like the city of Chicago is Herbie Hancock's Maiden Voyage. But the CTA album, on which there is no hint of the spineless, light rock they'd become just a few short years later, in 1969 it was experimental jazz-rock-pop fusion. Horns and keys up front, guitar and vocals out back, and tons of rambling intrumental jams. A fun summer jam as well, I think some of these riffs are prime materials for hip hop sampling (if it hasn't been done already).

Spring training for my softball team was one hour of practice. It was nice to get out in the park on tuesday evening, the weather was perfect. The season begins next week.

Mama said

there'd be days like this...

But the Southsiders are still the best team in baseball, still in first place

Sox Update: Depressing. Some highlights: Uribe was 3 for 4. Widger was 2 for 4. Another sign Konerko is breaking out of his slump - he walked 3 times and didn't strike out. Contreras line wasn't sharp, but Mr. Zero lost the game.

Got a Sox calendar from a pal who works at US Cellular (the corporate office, not the park). Timo Perez is on the cover.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Not even McCarthy seems to be able to help the Knights anymore. Brandon pitched 5 innings giving up 5 ER, 2 homers and 3 walks in a 5-4 loss to Ottawa. He struck out 7. Thru monday's game, the Knights are 9-22 with a .290 winning pct. Only two teams in pro baseball are worse, and they come from Class A - Clearwater (Florida League) at .194 and West Virgina (South Atlantic Legue) at .233.

Birmingham (AA): Beat Mississippi 7-4. Young goes 2 for 4 with a homer a two RBIs. Rogo also got two hits, including a triple.

Winston-Salem (A): won 6-5 over Salem. Collaro Watch - 2 for 5 including a solo homer. Valido was 4 for 5. Hall drove in 2. Amador was 2 for 4. Molina was 2 for 4 including a homer. Haeger gets the win and is now 5-0. In 6 IP he gave up 2 ER and 3 walks, and struck out 6.

Kannapolis (A): rained out.

Also, its official, baseball will be holding a World Cup style tournament beginning next year in the spring featuring pro players.

Baseball phrase of the day: cup of coffee n. a brief trial with the parent team by a minor league player.

Today's music selection: bossa nova all day put me in a fine mood.

Olde Tyme Movie Review: Noble Rot (1979) starring and written by Don Novello and John Belushi. Well, not really. I will probably never see that classic because it will probably never get made. I've alwyas wanted to read that script. I watched Sideways (2004) which isn't really old, but it was awful. I was surprised because I think it won some Oscars. I didn't like either of the main characters The dialogue and cinematogrophy fell short. Plus, I don't like wine snobs. My neighbor is a wine snob, and it takes all the fun out of wine. I like good wine as much as the next guy, but wine is meant to be gulped at meals, not sipped out of $150 bottles. Virgina Madsen looked hot, though.

Ray of light

Sox Update: I didn't watch much of the game, but from what I did see, it looked like the the Devil Rays are serious about winning. Crede was 2 for 4, sPod swiped one. Konerko is slowly coming around - he was 1 for 2 and this was the first game in recent memory where he didn't strike out. From what I saw, Garcia had good stuff, but maybe he made some bad choices on pitches I didn't see. I dunno. 6 and 1/3rd IP, 4 ER and 3 walks and 5 Ks ain't great, but it's not terrible either. Cotts looked like he had some stuff on the ball tonight...

Robin Ventura joined DJ in the booth as the color man, thankfully relieving us of Donn Pall. Ventura seems to be more built to announcing than DP. We'll just have to see if his acumen is as good as Pall's...

The Sox made some roster moves in the past few days. LHP Kevin Walker was called up (or "saved") from Charlotte. Pedro Lopez was sent down (or "sentenced") to the Knights. Harris was activated off the bereavment list, and Jamie Burke was "designated for reassignment", thought the press release was not specific where he'd go. That phrase "designated for reassignment", makes it sound like he'll be cleaning locker rooms at the Arizona summer league complex. I guess anything's better than going down to Charlotte. Speaking of which...

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): guess what? A loss? BINGO!

Birmingham (AA): Barons lose 4-2 to Mississippi. Blakely continues to be hot - he was 2 for 3.

Winston-Salem (A):.. lose to crosstown rivals Salem, 4-2. Collaro Watch: 1 for 4 with a run scored. Dizard's line indicates he pitched well enough to win - 5 IP, 3 ER, 3 BB, and 6 Ks.

Kannapolis (A): Lose 9-3 to Lakewood. Kelly goes 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 RBIs. The Intimidators defense costs them another one - they had 3 errors.

Baseball phrase of the day: Aparicio double n. a walk and a stolen base.

Sorry I don't have much else to say these days.

Power to the People Part 1

I took the day off work to fight a parking ticket in DuPage County. Traffic court is an event in itself. Other than the lawyers, I was the only person wearing a suit. As the judge calls the names, turns out about half the people don't bother to show up. Of the half that do, nearly all of them have speeding tickets, plead guilty and get "Supervision. $75 fine." The town prosecutor reviewed my case, realized 1) the cop was wrong, and I was was right OR 2) it wasn't worth his time. Maybe a combination of both. Whatever. I got off.

Yesterday I spent some time in SW Michigan. The usual 2-hour ride home turned into a 4-hour adventure. So much construction on the Borman (again) it looks like a war zone. Ugh. Next time I need R&R, I'm going to Wisco.

Sox Update: Another day, another win - 5-4 over the Jays for the sweep. The 2005 Sox have now matched the 1919 Black Sox record for the best start to a season in team history. But unlike the cursed Sox, these Sox have lead in all 31 games - setting the ML record. Dye continues to slowly break out of his slump - he hit a 2-run homer. Uribe also homered. Rowand was 2 for 4. Konerko was 0 for 3 and sturck out twice. So while he may have snapped his 0 for 26 hitless slump on saturday by hitting two homers, he's still mired deep in a larger slump (albeit, with some hits). Buehrle gives up just 2 ER in 7 and 1/3rd IP, striking out 4, walking 2.

Onto Tampa.

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): another day, another loss.

Birmingham (AA): Lose 3-2 to Chattanooga. Blakey and Gonzales each had 2 hits. Lubisich struck out 5 in 5 IP.

Winston-Salem (A): Beat Potomac 13-4. Collaro Watch: oddly enough, he didn't play. Daigle was 5 for 5 with 6 RBIs, including 2 homers. Amador homered and drove in 3. Haigwood strikes out 5 in 5 IP (though he gave up 4 ER). Ovalles struck out 4 of the 7 batters he faced.

Kannapolis (A): off day.

Baseball phrase of the day: uprising n. a batting rally.

5 and 10

Oh god!

Kentucky Derby: WTF? the #10 horse Giacomo, a 50-1, comes from out of nowhere at the end to score the second biggest upset in Derby history. I bet my trifecta box (see below), but just to cover my ass, I also put down $2 straight win bets on Sun King, Bellamy Road and Bandini. Thought I was pretty shrewd. Damn. I lost all $20. I don't even feel like drinkin or sexin after that spankin. Now if I had bet Giacomo, well, I wouldn't be writing this now, as I'd be knee deep in hookers and Veuve.

I went up to Arlington to watch it, which was a mistake (should've gone to the Oakbrook OTB). Not only was the food court closed, but they had no tables out (chairs only), and apparently allow smoking indoors (what century is this?).

Sox Update: 5 different Sox hit homers. Leading the way was Konerko, who hit two and breaks out of his slump. He also drove in 5 runs,, but stuck out thrice. Widger was 3 for 4. sPod stole 4 bases. Garland had his worst outing of the year, but still picks up the win. Amazingly, he's now 6-0. Dye's great grab at the wall in the bottom of the 9th helps preserve the win. This event, is, of course, good news for female strippers in Toronto (who are, I'm told, smokin hot).

I'm trying not to get too excited over the Sox hot start. They are the best team in baseball right now, but its only May 7 and they have just a 4 game cushion over the Twins. They just need to stay close (and healthy) thru the All Star break. Then, we start playin fer keeps. The thing about the Sox, however, is that I really don't think they're firing on all cylinders yet. When that happens - tailights for the rest of the league, baby...

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Against Norfolk, the Knights won the first game, a shortened make up from yesterday's rainout, 5-1. Anderson was 2 for 4. Toca homered. Adkins gets the win. In the second shortened game, they lost 4-1. Casanova was 2 for 3.

Bimringham (AA): Lost to Chattanooga 11-8. But despite the loss, the hits don't stop -- Blakely; 2 for 5 with a homer and 3 RBIs , Rogo; a homer 2 RBIs and 2 runs scored, Sweeney; 2 for 3 with 3 runs scored, and Fields homered and drove in 2. Villacis has, uh, a rough outing - 1 and 2/3rd IP, 9 ER on 8 hits (2 of which were homers) and 4 walks. Ouch.

Winston-Salem (A): Lost to Potomac 8-5. Collaro watch: 1 for 4. Again. Valido goes 2 for 4 with a homer and 3 RBIs. Myers struck out in each of his at bats. Rodriguez; 5 IP, gave up 8 hits, 5 ER, a walk a homer and stuck out 4 en route to a loss. He's now 3-3 on the season.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Lake Co 5-2. Castillo goes 3 for 4. Hansen homered and drove in two. Roberts was 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Russell gets his first win of the year with a good outing; 8 IP, 2 ER and 6 Ks, but also 6 walks.

Baseball phrase of the day: horse-and-buggy league n. a minor league team in which the team travels primarily by bus rather than by air or, when the phrase first came into use, by rail.

Gotta run. "The Other Winfrey Show" is coming on.

Streakin Up North

Sox Update: Another balanced effort and the Sox beat Toronto 5-3. Konerko finally breaks out of the 0 for 26 slump. Dye's "streaky" hitting is now offically at two games on the positive side - he was 1 for 3 with a homer. Iguchi was 2 for 5 and had a SB. El Duque gives up 3 ER in 7 IP, striking out 4.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Mercifully, rained out.

Birmingham (AA): Its a virtual 'hit parade' as the Barons take down Chattanooga 12-7. Rogo goes 4 for 6 with 2 RBI, Owens, Sweeney, and Blakey each had three hits (though Blakely struck out thrice, as did Fields and Young). Stewart had two hits, including a homer and 3 RBIs.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose 13-10 in a slugfest to Potomac. Collaro Watch: 1 for 5 with a double (he's in a bit of slump, isn't he?). Garcia homers and drives in 4. Amador was 2 for 4. Flores pitches 4 and 1/3rd, giving up 8 ER on 8 hits and 3 walks - yikes!

Kannapolis (A): Lose 6-5 to Lake Co in 12. De Los Santos continues to have a good year at the plate, and was 3 for 6 on this night. Liotta struck out 7 in 7 IP, giving up 2 ER. Hurd lost it in relief, giving up 2 ER and 2 walks while retiring no one.

Baseball phrase of the day: spank v. to bat the ball sharply.

Today's music selection: I keep finding myself going back to the overlooked classics. Today it was Lloyd Cole's masterpiece Don't Get Weird On Me, Babe, which I listened to on a train that was more crowded than usual. While looking at my fellow commuters standing in the asiles, my gaze landed upon a stunning woman with flowing, two-colored shoulder-length aubun hair, big brown eyes, a low cut top and a nose stud. This scenery made the claustraphobic situation much more tolerable.

Derby Daze

Sun King working out at Churchill Downs earlier this week.

I love to watch the ponies run. As soon as I tunred 18, I found my way out to old Sportsman's Park, and spent many a night under the stars in Stickney, smoking cigars, betting the harness racing and enjoying the atmosphere. A lots changed in my life since then. I still get out to watch the harness once a year, and last year, I made my first trip ever to Arlington, which renewed my love for the sport. Sadly, I'm not as good at picking the winners in horse racing as I am in forecasting football scores and season-ending baseball outcomes. But since the Kentucky Derby is this weekend, for what its worth, here are my picks:

1. Bellamy Road
2. High Fly
3. Afleet Alex

I'm probably going to go up to Arlington to watch and bet. I'm probably going bet a $2 trifecta box, a $2 perfecta box, and $2 to win on Sun King (though Bandini and Wilko apparently have outside shots as well).

Good luck to all...

Q & A with Tom Collaro

Collaro

For anyone who's been reading this blog since its inception last August, you'll note that I've been impressed with 21 year old Sox farmhand, Tom Collaro. Sure, there are definately hotter prospects out there in the Sox minor league organiztion. But at the end of last year, with Great Falls in the Pioneer League, Collaro, who bats and throws right handed, eclipsed them all as he hit the cover off the ball. His outstanding performacne last year earned him a trip to High A ball for 2005. And so far this year, its been more of the same. Collaro, who stand 6 ft 4 and weighs in at 210, leads the Carolina League in homers (8) and RBIs (20) . He's near the top in every other offensive category as well.

Right Fielder Tom Collaro sat down with Warthogs Staff member Steven Bartek for a question and answer session.

Steve: What did you focus on in the off season?

Tom: I was basically working out, getting stronger, working on my swing a little bit. Nothing too strenuous because the off-season is a time to lay back and let your body recuperate. About a month to a month and a half, during spring training, you get ready to get going.

Steve: How were you acquired by the White Sox?

Tom: I was drafted out of high school but didn’t go. I was drafted the following year after one year at Palm Beach Community College.

Steve: What have you done different, if anything, to get yourself out to such a hot start?

Tom: Nothing really different. I worked with Raul Ibanez in the off-season. He was teaching me little things here and there. Other than that I’ve just been doing the same things but now it’s finally clicking.

Steve: How do you like the White Sox organization?

Tom: They have been good to me. They are a good organization. Obviously, it’s the only one I’ve been with but so far they have treated me fine.

Steve: Who would you compare yourself to in the Major Leagues?

Tom: I like to compare myself to Vladimir [Guerrero] just because of his plate discipline and we both swing at everything. I think I can hit a lot of bad pitches. He’s also a right fielder with a good arm.

Steve: If you were not a professional baseball player, what would you be doing?

Tom: I’d probably be fishing. I love to fish. That’s what I do in the off-season.

Steve: What is the biggest challenge in making it to the big leagues?

Tom: Like I was talking about before, plate discipline, pitch selection and swinging at strikes. I’d like to cut down on the strike outs a little bit.

Steve: Do you have any superstitions or do anything out of the ordinary before the game?

Tom: Not really. I give the sign of the cross after the anthem and just pray a little bit in the fourth inning.

Steve: How do you like living in Winston-Salem opposed to South Florida?

Tom: There’s no ocean here. The ocean’s kind of far so that’s a bad thing. But other than that I like the country, the weather’s been nice. It gets a little cold here but you’re going to get that. It’s actually nice out today.

Steve: How about the people?

Tom: Oh yeah, Southern Hospitality. It’s definitely a change from back home. The roads are a little nicer; you don’t get ran off the road. (Laughs)

Steve: If you could eat lunch with anybody dead or alive, who would it be?

Tom: Hard question. Right off the top of my head, I would have to say Mickey Mantle. Just to see what he would think about.

Steve: Would you rather win a ballgame offensively or defensively?

Tom: Hitting. I’ve had about three walk-offs in my career and there’s nothing more exciting than that. It feels good.

So there you go. Hard hitting, Pulitzer prize stuff it ain't. But hopefully it reveals a bit more about the mystery behind the big numbers... and provided some entertainment. If he keeps hitting like this, the Sox should move him up to AA late in the year to see how he does. I've heard making the jump from A to AA is a greater leap than from AAA (or even AA) to the major leagues. Guess we'll see. But I hope to see Collaro in Chicago in September 2006.

Special thanks to Steven Bartek for providing me with this copy and giving me permission to reprint it here. Truly, I'm grateful.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

make mine a double, please

Sox Update: After numerous quality starts, Contreras finally gets a win. He pitched 8 innings, struck out 6 and yielded just one run. Sox win it by scoring 2 runs in a hitless 8th inning (though Mr. Zero tried his best to blow it). That's good news if you're a female stripper in Toronto who happens to be working tonight.

I think this quote from KC Sweeney's pitcher Zack Greinke sums up the Sox year thus far:``Their lineup last year, every batter you're thinking, hey watch out, that guy could hurt you. Now, it's like you feel more comfortable pitching against them but they'll beat you more because they've got that sneaky success against you,'' Greinke said.

One other thing - The Sox have led in all 28 games this season, a major league record.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Why do the Knights occassionally win a game? Because they have Brandon McCarthy. Against Norfolk, he threw 8 scoreless innings, and struck out 10. Charlotte was able to muster the offense, barely, to eek this one out, 1-0. I predict 4 straight losses coming for the Knights, beginning tomorrow.

Birmingham (AA): off day.

Winston-Salem (A): lost 5-4 to the Keys in 11. Collaro Watch: 0 for 5 with a run scored. Nanita was 3 for 4 with 3 RBIs. I'll post the Collaro interview tomorrow.

Kannapolis (A): Beat Lake Co 7-3.

Baseball phrase of the day: rush seats n. unreserved general admission or bleacher seats.

I did eat Mexican for dinner tonight. Sadly, it was Mexican food, and not Selma Hayek.

Tie Dyed

Sox Update: The best team in baseball wins again, defeating the KC Sweeneys 4-2, in front of another sprase crowd on the Southside. AJ hits a 2-run homer, Crede homers, and Dye continues to break out of his slump, getting 2 hits, including a triple. He's a 3 for 4 game away from being "Streaky." Garcia pitched well, and the bullpen closed it out.

Former Sox reliever Donn Paul was filling in for a missing Hawk Harrelson on the TV side. I'm sure Paul is a nice guy, but his color commentary was not what you'd expect to hear at the major league level. He may have the knowledge, and could learn the timing, but you gotta be born with the pipes, which he ain't got. Sorry, Donn. You want to hear some good pipes, check out some local minor league voices like Matt McLaughlin (Schamburg Flyers on WONC 89.1 FM) or Judd Sirrott (Chicago Wolves on cable access). Now those guys got faces for radio and the voices to match!

The closing hours of the strip clubs in Toronto dictate a day game today. Plenty of good seats still available.

Down On The Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): a win, a win!!!

Birmingham (AA): Lose 9-2 to West Tenn. Rogo gets 2 hits. Yofu gives up 4 ER in 3 IP and gets the loss. I can't help but think the Barons dumbest move ever was to move out of Rickwood Field in 1987. Rickwood is the oldest stadium in the US and is a picture of old tyme baseball (countless base ball movies have been shot there, including Cobb). The joint seats 10,000 and its still standing. Check it out:

http://www.ballparkreviews.com/birm/rickwood.htm
http://www.baseballpilgrimages.com/rickwood.html

Winston-Salem (A): Win 4-2 over Frederick in a 16 inning marathon. Collaro Watch: 1 for 7, which will obviously hurt his average. Hinton drives in 3. Dizard struck out 6 and scattered 3 hits over 5 innings of work.

Kannapolis (A): got killed by Lake County, 13-3. Hansen gives up 7 ER and 4 walks in just 2, brutal innings. Some days ya got, some days ya don't, eh?

Baseball phrase of the day: swipe a hassock v. to steal a base.

Today's music selection: I moved from Stan Getz to Miles Davis, and prompty found myself in my happy place.

Super Terrific Happy Hour

The MILF made enough cookies last night to feed an army. Unfortunately, man cannot live on food alone. Just watching her prance around the kitchen, commanding the machines like the mixer, wearing a skimpy tank top, tight sweats and an apron was just too sexy for me to handle.

Sox Update: "Hi and welcome to the 'Tadahito Iguchi Show', tonight I'll go 4 for 4 as the Sox eek out a 5-4 win over KC on a chilly night at 35th and Shields." Iguchi looked good and paitent at the plate as he battled for his pitch and hit his first major league homer. He also drove in 2. Everett was 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Dye began emerging from a slump and went 2 for 4 as well. Buehrle goes 8 innings for the win, but gives up 3 homers.

Willis Harris was placed on the "bereavement list" and a big life preserver was tossed down to Jamie Burke at Charlotte. Speaking of which...

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): The Knights continue to find new ways to lose. Tonight, the pain lasted for 13 innings, before they fell to Richmond 4-3.

Birmingham (AA): Lose to West Tenn 9-5. Fields homered, walked twice, and drove in 2. Reyes was 3 for 4. Pollak and Glen were shelled in a way that prevents me from repeating it here. Turst me when I say it's the ugliest pitching line I've seen all year.

Winston-Salem (A): Finally some good news - the Hogs beat Frederick 11-3. Collaro Watch: 1 for 4 with a solo homer and a walk. Hinton and Daigle each collect 2 hits and 3 RBIs. Haigwood goes 5 and 1/3rd, striking out 7, though he gave up 4 walks. but only 1 ER.

Kannapolis (A): Oops, here's one I missed - ace pitcher Gio Gonzales went on the 15-day DL April 29 with a pulled muscle in his side. The Intimdators uneventfully lost to Hagerstown 11-4.

Jason Gage over at www.futuresox.com has done a really nice piece on the top 25 prospects in the Sox organization. That kind of thing is tough to rank - no one really knows. I hate to be critical of such a fine piece of work, but he didn't include either Collaro or Amador on the list.

Baseball phrase of the day: pace-setter n./adj. the leading team in a league.

Today's music selection: I started the day with old school World Party, and finished up with some Stan Getz.

For those preparing for the derby this week. I've found this helpful site: http://www.drf.com/tc/kentuckyderby/2005/kentucky_derby.html

I'll post my picks on friday.

Man At Rest

Off day today for the Sox, but not for yours truly, who had to shovel coal for satan all day.

Ross Gload was placed on the 15-day on DL with a left shoulder inflammation. Here's hoping he gets better soon! Pedro Lopez was rescued from the thing at the bottom of the International League that calls itself a baseball team.

Congrats to Jon Garland, named AL Pitcher of the Month for April! He's also the first Sox pitcher to throw back-to-back complete game shut outs since Jack McDowell did it in 1991. One important thing to keep in mind, he is the #5 starter on this team!

Another interesting Sox stat: ESPN radio, and www.chicagoist.com, both report that since 1976, over 80% of teams that are above .700 on May 1 make it to the playoffs. Keep in mind for much of that time period, only 4 teams (2 per league) made it to the post season. With the playoffs now expanded to 4 teams per league, that bodes even better for our Southsiders. The Sox are on their way. Bet on it.

One thing we can all do to help: get a Yohan Santana voodoo doll, and start working lots of pins into his left arm. Then work the eyes.

Down On the Farm:

Charlotte (AAA): Mercifully, an off day.

Birmingham (AA): Lose a close one, 4-3 to West Tenn. Owens goes 3 for 4.

Winston-Salem (A): Lose 7-2 to the Fredrick Keys. Collaro was 0 for 4. Rodriguez gets shelled for 6 ER in 7 IP.

Kannapolis (A): Lost 6-5 to Hagerstown in a very close game. Berry gets 3 hits. Hansen collects 2 doubles, Hernandez drives in two. Smith goes 2 for 4 with 2 runs scored. But it was the pitching of Russell and Perez that failed the Intimdators.

Baseball phrase of the day: rake in v. to catch a batted ball.

I've had my softball equipment at work for more than a month - I can't wait for the season to start. Just two weeks from today....

I'm not much for reality tv - I get plenty of drama in my day-to-day existance - but I did catch some of Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel last night. Having spent a week for each of 10 summers of my youth sailing on a large lake in upstate NY, I'm no stranger to water. Plus, during my backpacking days, I've had the displeasure of hoping long ferry rides in the rough seas seperating Europe and Africa. But I have no desire - NONE - to go on a cold death trap like one of them crabbin boats in the dark, black night of the unforgiving Bearing Sea. You could not pay me enough to do that job. I'll take "You want fries with that?"any day of the week for the rest of my long, miserable life on land. Spending a few days on a fishing boat in Alaska is a job I'm just about crazy enough and strong enough to do, but there is not enough money, and therefore, not enough pussy, involved. I'm an adventerous guy, but I'll stick to the concrete jungle, thanks.

Speaking of pussy, still no boobs in my face lately. There is a hot hot hot hottie hugely breatsted bleached blonde at work who I've really been bonding with the past few weeks. She's young (25) and we've worked together, on and off, for 7 years now. And as things at my company become increasingly stressful and desperate, I'm hoping for a hook up. What if the MILF catches me? Think she'd be jealous? I can't fight my throbing natural urges to fuck the shit out of this girl. And if the MILF isn't woman enough to give me a porn star experience at least once every few weeks, then... I dunno? What do you think?