U-S-A A-OK

Amorica

If you're reading this, you probably already know that Sox manager Ozzie Guillen became an American citizen last week. In the days since, he hasn't moved off the couch, gained 175 pounds, and is watching the Jerry Springer Show nonstop. He's also lost the Ricky Ricardo accent and now sounds more like Jethro Bodean.

Welcome to the club, Ozzie.